The Outworker
The relationship with oneself is the most important to develop, but the easiest to neglect. These conversations will hopefully allow you to develop that relationship.
The Outworker
#037 - Tim Doyle - 26 Lessons From 26 Years Of Life
Last week I turned 26 years old. So, for this solo episode, I thought I’d share 26 key lessons from 26 years of life. I reflect on playing your own game, building systems over goals, and turning pain into growth. From personal breakthroughs to actionable takeaways, I share the mindset shifts and habits that have shaped my journey. Whether it’s following your intuition, embracing curiosity, or redefining success, this episode is a roadmap for creating a life true to yourself.
Timestamps:
00:00 Closer To 30 Than 20
02:24 Play Your Own Game
03:59 Create Systems Over Goals
08:31 Be Repetitive & Have A Routine
13:11 Follow Your Intuition
18:44 Highest Level Of Accomplishment
24:55 Get Used To Not Being Used To It
26:29 Act As If...You Already Are
28:00 Curiosity Over Ambition
29:56 You Are Your Biggest Obstacle
30:44 Making Things Harder Than They Are
33:58 Don't Negotiate With Yourself
36:12 Only You Need To Understand
37:15 Talk With Yourself
39:42 Just Breathe
42:21 Your Relationship With Things
45:01 Stop Trying To Figure Yourself Out
45:54 Unwilling Life Experiences
47:38 Pain Is A Gift
50:03 Discipline Is Nothing Without Compassion
52:41 Progression From Regression
54:26 If You Can Build Yourself, You Can Build Anything
55:50 A Bridge To My Purpose
58:39 Detach From Yourself
1:01:29 Thinking Highly vs. Believing Highly
1:04:24 You're In A Story
1:06:10 Keep Outworking
Thank you so much for listening. I truly appreciate your time and support. Let me know what you thought of the episode and what you would like to see in the future. Any feedback would be awesome. Don't forget to subscribe for more exciting content on YouTube, and leave a review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or whatever platform you are listening on.
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What’s up outworkers. Last week I turned 26 years old. So, for this solo episode, I thought I’d share 26 key lessons from 26 years of life. I reflect on playing your own game, building systems over goals, and turning pain into growth. From personal breakthroughs to actionable takeaways, I share the mindset shifts and habits that have shaped my journey. Whether it’s following your intuition, embracing curiosity, or redefining success, this episode is a roadmap for creating a life true to yourself.
Tim Doyle (00:08.45)
Last week I turned 26 years old and it's crazy to think because this is the first year where I'm closer to 30 years old than I am to 20 years old and that's a crazy feeling. It's a wild feeling. And videos I've seen people make is when they reach a certain birthday. It's not necessarily any
specific birthday, but they make a video or a podcast on
things they've learned for the amount of years that they've lived. So turn 26. So here are 26 things I've learned for 26 years of life. And these are the first 26 things that just came to mind.
quickly wrote these things down when I like I was just in a very creative state of mind after a really good workout and just started quickly writing stuff down and there's a lot of good stuff here. So I mean, I wouldn't say that these are 26 of the most important things or that there's only 26 things. There's probably hundreds of things that could be on this list, but these are the first 26.
These are the first 26 things that came to mind and I think there's a lot of good stuff here. So can I go through all 26 of these, give a little bit more background on them. And here we go. And these are in no specific order.
Tim Doyle (01:56.906)
Number one, play your own game. This is actually something that I talked about in the very first episode and it's a crucial...
phrase that I've ingrained within myself and in my life. And this is something going way back when I was a young kid, probably in middle school. This is something that
My dad told me and it wasn't even like a teaching moment. He kind of just told it to me. So matter of factly, and he didn't even remember saying it to me when I brought it up to him, you know, years down the line, but it left a massive impact on me. Play your own game. So easy to get caught up in either playing other people's game or feeling like.
You need to be playing a collective game with other people.
but you can play your own game by setting your own rules with your own scoreboard and be the one who's in complete control.
Tim Doyle (03:16.302)
And that's when I think living and setting goals.
but it's interesting not setting goals again with the second one there but
Tim Doyle (03:29.804)
I think that's when you can really make serious progress when you're just uber focused on playing your own game and not worried about what other people are doing or what other people are thinking.
And this gets me to number two. Like I said, not so much focused on goals. So number two here, create systems over goals. And what I mean by that,
that and this is a major component to James Clear's book Atomic Habits. When we create a system, the way that I see that is, and this is something that I talk about a lot, creating inputs that you can do on a daily basis. A system that you create is something that you are focused on every single day of completing an accomplishment and accomplishing.
daily tasks that you know you can stick to on a daily basis very consistently.
Because I think if you're goal focused.
Tim Doyle (04:46.722)
you become.
more concerned with hey where am I trying to go to where is this leading me towards
rather than what you can do today because that's all you have. And the way that I also look at it is, is because I think when you see goals, let's just use physical goals as an example. 75 hard, running a marathon.
Tim Doyle (05:24.12)
competing in an Ironman doing a bodybuilding show.
lot of work goes into
that final day where the goal is accomplished of doing those things. Incredible task. I mean, if you were an Ironman, it's absolutely incredible.
but the question that I always have and let's use 75 hard here for an example
Tim Doyle (05:57.122)
I think the most important question to ask yourself for 75 heart is what does day 76 look like? And that's where the systems over goals comes into place. Because if you are able to work towards a goal, obviously that's incredible. It takes a lot of discipline.
Tim Doyle (06:22.562)
But are you just focused on it within this mindset of creating a goal?
And that's why I think a system can be so much more powerful where it's like, okay, this is just a system that I live by now. And these are daily tasks that I'm just going to do for the longterm and I can have goals within that system, but I'm going to be systems focused.
And that's a mindset that
Naturally came into place with me and working out in the gym. I was definitely goals focused at the start of my journey, but as I learned more About the process of working out and everything that goes into fitness I Became much more systems focused and I didn't have specific goals and It's funny. I accomplished more by not having goals
and sticking to a system.
Tim Doyle (07:30.87)
Number three, be monotonously repetitive with aspects of your life and have a routine.
And I think this ties in nicely with number two of creating systems, but just.
more emphasis here and going deeper, especially on this part of about being monotonously repetitive with aspects of your life. So to use me for an example, what that monotony looks like. I eat the same exact meals every single day.
and then this is another wild one. I've worn the exact same sweatshirt to the gym for the past.
I think it's six years now. Same sweatshirt. I have a gym sweatshirt. It's what I wear every single workout.
Tim Doyle (08:37.91)
And I think when you build in.
Tim Doyle (08:43.544)
daily consistent parts of your day.
It creates this routine in this rhythm that allows you to.
Tim Doyle (08:57.39)
progress and stack days within your life. And like I said, it doesn't have to be big stuff. For me, just having that sense of stability of this is where
This is what I'm wearing to the gym every single day. Just that unconscious thought of not even having to think about it. And that's where food also comes into play as well within my life, where I've gotten to the point where I just, I don't want to think about those types of choices throughout my day. Food to a large extent is just fuel for me. Now that doesn't mean that I hate
the meals that I'm eating. absolutely love all the food that I have throughout my entire day. Love all my meals. Makes me feel incredible, taste good, and feel like it makes me perform at my highest level, both in the gym, but also mentally as well.
And I mean, that is such a powerful feeling, especially when something so big with food is where I don't even have those decisions because I feel like within food, if I can just have that on autopilot to a certain extent. And I feel like the less decisions you have to make in a given day.
the more time that allows for either creativity or headspace where you do need to make choices, where it allows you to put your energy towards things that...
Tim Doyle (10:51.852)
you need to be focusing on.
Tim Doyle (10:56.236)
And another component to this is because throughout all of our lives, whether it's a long period of time or just a given day, there will be stuff that's thrown at us that we don't see coming. Whether it's something small, whether it's something big, whether it's, you know, a small hiccup that just gets us off track. If you're able to have those little things in your life that are just constants.
that brings that extra stability. And I think that allows you to.
Stay focused, stay grounded. If you have a bad day at work.
If you have a fight with a friend or family member or whatever it is, it's obviously a hiccup in your day.
Alright, my food can get me back on track of like, okay, back in my routine. Putting on my gym sweatshirt. Like I said, it's just very small stuff.
Tim Doyle (12:01.058)
But I think it gets you into the mindset of I'm the one who's always in control or I'm the one who can always steady the ship when I need to.
Number four, follow your intuition.
absolutely massive one for me and I honestly think for
the majority of my life.
I've followed my intuition. And this gets back to number one of playing your own game. I think I've followed my own intuition because I've been focused on playing my own game.
Tim Doyle (12:48.362)
Now with that being said, my intuition
Tim Doyle (12:55.096)
hasn't always led me down the right road or my intuition hasn't always been correct. My intuition has led me to making mistakes.
Tim Doyle (13:11.65)
But that is a massive success. In my opinion, you always need to follow your intuition because that is the path that you need to go down. It's better to follow your intuition and make a mistake than to take somebody else's advice or go down a path that
doesn't feel good, but it just feels like you're supposed to do and you succeed. That is what failure looks like to me, rather than going down the path that you intuitively feel like you're supposed to go down and it leads to a mistake because what's going to happen is you're going to make that mistake, but you're going to learn from it and you're going to grow from it and you're going to continue to build yourself into the person who you truly are.
But if you're just gaining some type of success where it doesn't even feel like really true to you, or it feels like you didn't follow your intuition.
that success is going to feel cheap. Or it's going to feel fake or just it's not going to feel as good because you're like, man, this isn't what I was supposed to do. Or I didn't listen to my intuition. I didn't listen to my soul. And that's the most important thing that you can do because that's what winning looks like. Listening to yourself no matter what. Because yeah, guess what? Maybe you'll pick up a loss or you'll pick up a defeat.
But being defeated on your own terms, I think feels a lot better than succeeding on somebody else's terms.
Tim Doyle (14:52.418)
And there's a term for following your intuition that I've started to use. And I didn't come up with this.
but it was a large part of my conversation that I had with a previous guest of mine, Graham Betchart. Graham was the sports psychologist for a lot of the top NBA players, players like Jalen Brown, Ben Simmons, Aaron Gordon, Marcus Smart.
Carl Anthony Towns, I mean the list goes on and on. Incredible guy, had an incredible conversation.
Tim Doyle (15:35.41)
And the thing that's stuck out to me the most and what I've carried with me the most is that Graham said we always think in terms of IQ and EQ.
But he said there is another type of intelligence that is so much more important than both of those and goes so much deeper. And he said, that's BQ or body intelligence. He said, we all have our own unique body intelligence.
that we need to listen to and that we need to feel. And he said, it can be really uncomfortable. You're gonna try to fight with it. And your IQ is especially gonna try to steer yourself away from your BQ, but you have to override that and you need to listen to your body intelligence.
And that's something that resonated with me so deeply. And I remember I left that conversation like, wow, like follow your body intelligence. It's an incredibly powerful understanding to have.
Tim Doyle (17:04.278)
and definitely something that I would tell everyone to do. Follow your body intelligence.
Only you know what that BQ looks and feels like and sounds like.
Tim Doyle (17:22.412)
and you can't have other people for your IQ.
or you living within a system, you can't have that type of stuff sway you away from listening to what that body intelligence is trying to tell you deep, deep down of what you know.
Tim Doyle (17:44.929)
Number five.
The highest level of accomplishment is not feeling the desire to accomplish anymore.
Tim Doyle (17:57.622)
And this is something that I felt, but didn't have this conscious understanding of it until another conversation that I have with somebody on my podcast, John Beatty. John was a mountain climber who climbed all the seven summits, which is the highest summit on every single continent.
and
He talked about how it was incredible climbing these incredible mountains.
Tim Doyle (18:36.012)
but the feeling that was even that much more powerful.
was not feeling the need to continue to push his limits or try to top that because he feels like I've accomplished everything I've set out to accomplish here and now it's time to move on to other stuff.
And that's something that
Just recently, would say within the past.
Tim Doyle (19:06.926)
six months to a year I've felt deep deep down when it came to working out and progressing in the gym. I mean from 18 to 24 years old I mean I would say that I was
fully obsessed with working out in this type of bodybuilding lifestyle where to a large extent I was like nothing else exists for me or I don't care about anything else. It's not like I didn't prioritize my academics or had it take me away from other parts of my life but I I was completely obsessed
with this type of lifestyle and seeing how much I could progress in the gym and build my body, which has also allowed me to build my mind and build my spirit.
I think that's good. I think when you're in high school and you're in college and you don't have
so-called real-world responsibilities, I think it allows you that time to go deep into an obsession. And for me, that was the gym.
Tim Doyle (20:45.752)
I like I said, else mattered to me. I like, am going to allow myself to be fully consumed by everything here. But I will say is that...
when I started to get older.
I was like, man, like I kind of wish I wasn't as obsessed with this. I wish I didn't care as much. Like I still did. And I was like, Hey, if this is what going back to my body intelligence, honestly, it's like my body intelligence is telling me like you have to be all in on all this stuff because this is what you need to be doing. This is what feels most right. But I was also consciously aware of like, man, like I wish
I didn't have to be like that.
Tim Doyle (21:37.974)
And then something just happened, where something just clicked where I was like...
Tim Doyle (21:44.516)
I really don't have.
that type of obsessed mindset about it. You I still love working out. I still love it. I still love this lifestyle, but I do it from a honestly a higher level of consciousness where it was it's more from a wellness perspective more so than an ambitious perspective or trying to
progress. It's more so just doing it just so to do it now. And that's where that powerful feeling came into place for me where I was like,
Tim Doyle (22:22.626)
I like to do this, but I don't need it. I don't need to accomplish anymore.
The highest level of accomplishment is not needing to accomplish anything more. The highest level of accomplishment is being able to step back to a certain degree.
What do they say about athletes all the time?
You want to be able to retire on your own terms. And that's such a powerful feeling to be able to be like, all right, I'm done. I don't need this anymore. And that was a really cool feeling. And that's allowed me to grow in other areas of my life. mean, working out has completely changed my life.
Tim Doyle (23:11.884)
But I'm glad that I have a more.
Tim Doyle (23:16.524)
mature perspective on it.
And the funny thing is, within the last year,
I've probably accomplished the most and grown the most. And I think a large part of that is because I kind of stepped back and I just like didn't care as much. I wasn't stressed out about it as much. wasn't as keyed up about it. And I think there's a lot of truth in that there. And that's something that...
Tim Doyle (23:50.764)
I'll get into later on with another point.
Tim Doyle (23:56.269)
Number six.
Get used to not being used to it.
Tim Doyle (24:07.33)
You're not gonna know. You're not gonna have everything figured out. You're gonna make mistakes. Don't expect yourself to be good when you start.
And that was the biggest thing for me in the podcast. I like, I'm not expecting myself to know how to do this or to be good at it or for it to work, so to speak. I'm just trying to get better. And that's a large component of getting used to not being used to it. It's like, I'm not trying to be the best at this. I'm not trying to be great. I'm just trying to get better.
than what I was doing yesterday. And if I have that mindset of just trying to be better, trying to outwork what I did yesterday, that will allow me to grow. So stop being worried about needing to have things figured out because guess what? Nobody has anything figured out. When you look at somebody on the surface, whether it's on social media or wherever it is, yeah, on the surface, it's gonna look like they know so much more than you.
Tim Doyle (25:24.014)
but just have that.
open mindset. Don't let your ego take over where you feel like you need to know how to do everything.
Number seven.
Act as if you already are.
So this is something that my first boss would always say, act as if, especially when you're first starting out.
Tim Doyle (25:55.98)
The person that you want to be, you already are that person. You're not going to have this massive transformation overnight or you're not going to finally feel one day like, all right, now I am that person. I can do all those things now. You already are that person. So start acting like it. That was a massive shift for me, especially after college.
I like, am the person that I want to be.
I was holding myself back. I was...
manually trying to psych myself out into thinking I wasn't the person that I wanted to be to make myself feel like I need to transform into this different person. It's a complete mindset shift into I am the person that I want to be. So start working like it, start acting like it, start thinking like it, start talking like it.
Tim Doyle (27:06.262)
Number eight, curiosity over ambition. This is something that I talked about in the podcast that I did about my experience at the retreat that I did in Austin, Texas, where I didn't have some type of drawn out goal or ambition for what I wanted to get out of the retreat. It was more so just curiosity of
Let's see what happens. What will come of this? And I think that's so important to have that type of mindset. That's definitely the mindset that I've taken with the podcast. Obviously I have an idea of what I want to achieve, but I'm leading with curiosity rather than ambition.
My mindset is always...
Tim Doyle (28:01.462)
I wonder what can come from this podcast. What will this lead to? Who will I become? What will I learn? What will this path look like?
When you lead with curiosity, you lead with questions. When you lead with ambition,
You're leading with statements. You're leading like you think you know everything. This is where I'm trying to go. This is who I'm trying to be.
This is what will come of this.
Tim Doyle (28:38.466)
I think it's good to...
have that type of confidence or have that type of path that you want to go down.
But I think it's much more powerful and much more fulfilling when you lead with questions. And I think you can grow more and you can achieve more with that type of mindset.
Tim Doyle (29:06.444)
Number nine, you will forever be your biggest obstacle in your way.
Tim Doyle (29:15.256)
This is something that...
Tim Doyle (29:19.448)
held me back for a long time.
Tim Doyle (29:27.534)
that's a positive as well because once you can make the shift of getting out of yourself, but once you can make the shift of getting out of your own way.
then you free up so much space for yourself to progress and grow.
Tim Doyle (29:54.294)
number 10 and this ties in nicely with number nine. We like to make things harder than they are because if it doesn't feel hard why would we want it?
If we want it, it naturally must be hard to get.
Tim Doyle (30:16.918)
And I think that's true to a certain extent. Things truly worth having in life.
Tim Doyle (30:26.466)
they will be challenging to get. It will take a lot of work and a lot of effort and a lot of energy.
Tim Doyle (30:34.978)
but I think we also like to...
Tim Doyle (30:39.874)
be in our own way and we like to manufacture resistance and we like to manufacture this narrative and this perception of this is going to be really hard.
So when you put on those glasses of, this is going to be really hard, you will naturally see that every single step along the process, you will make it harder than it has to be.
Tim Doyle (31:10.732)
because that's what we've been taught to a certain extent. Well, it's not hard to get, why would you want it?
So we need to think that, it must naturally be hard to get, but then we make it even harder than it has to be.
Tim Doyle (31:31.308)
and tying things back into.
Tim Doyle (31:36.352)
number five where I said the highest level of accomplishment is not feeling the desire to accomplish anymore.
when I sort of stopped caring about accomplishing.
Tim Doyle (31:52.96)
It's like I didn't put that added pressure on myself. It became easier. I started progressing more.
And I don't think that's by coincidence. When I wanted to progress in the gym, when I wanted to grow, was like, this is really hard. This is a lot of hard work. And then when I got to the point, I was like, all right, I've gotten everything that I've needed from this. I started just working more freely. Started being unlocked.
And I started progressing very easily when it wasn't even my intention or my goal to.
Tim Doyle (32:37.132)
We like to make things that much harder on ourselves because we think it'll be that much more fulfilling. It'll be that much better of a story. I worked really hard. I sacrificed so much. Yeah, you will have to do those things, but don't.
create this type of system where you have to do those things more than you actually have to.
Tim Doyle (33:08.193)
Number 11.
Don't negotiate with yourself.
Tim Doyle (33:17.046)
You know what you want out of life.
Tim Doyle (33:21.518)
We all know.
Tim Doyle (33:30.894)
I think that's one of the most fascinating things and this is something that has happened within my own life.
Tim Doyle (33:40.718)
But I think all of us do this to a certain degree where we're like, I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I don't know what I want to be.
Tim Doyle (33:58.626)
feel lost.
think we tell ourselves those things because we've been, we've been programmed to, in quotes, be realistic. Always think in.
Tim Doyle (34:19.224)
forms of
fitting within a certain type of mold.
Tim Doyle (34:30.028)
You know what you want. Don't negotiate with that.
Tim Doyle (34:36.354)
And in terms of happiness, don't negotiate with your happiness. It's a good thing to have.
Tim Doyle (34:45.206)
level of what you expect for your life to look like and for what your happiness should look like. Don't settle for those things. this is good enough. you know I'm happy with this. You know this is alright. No don't negotiate with yourself.
Tim Doyle (35:09.806)
Truly go after what you think your best and highest life can look like.
Tim Doyle (35:18.434)
Why would you ever settle for something less than that?
Tim Doyle (35:33.132)
Number 12. You're the only one who needs to understand.
Tim Doyle (35:39.862)
If it makes sense to you.
That's all that matters. If it's a certain decision.
Tim Doyle (35:51.406)
if it's a certain action.
Tim Doyle (35:55.562)
Ask yourself, does this feel right? You don't need other people's advice, you know.
because when you ask other people's advice...
they will either confirm what you want to hear or it will go against what you want to hear.
Tim Doyle (36:22.638)
tying it into previous lessons. Play your own game. Follow your body intelligence.
and you're the only one who needs to understand.
Number 13, talk with yourself. This is a big one for me, honestly. Literally talk with yourself. Have a conversation with yourself. Literally what am I doing right now? This is a conversation that I'm having with myself and I'm just happened to be recording it and I'll post it online for other people to listen to. Use your voice.
Tim Doyle (37:04.936)
Use your voice in an empty room where it's only you. Say things you've never said before. Say things that you truly want to say. I go for a walk every single day. A huge part of my walk is talking with myself.
hearing my voice, talking through ideas, talking through things that I want to happen, talking through research on guests and how I want to phrase things when I interview somebody.
you will become a much better speaker, a much better communicator. And I think it is a massive pillar for building the relationship with yourself.
That's what I talk about all the time. The relationship with yourself is the most important to develop, but the easiest to neglect. And I think if you can't talk with yourself, if you can't have an open, transparent conversation with yourself, then you don't have a good relationship with yourself.
And it's okay to feel like that. I mean, I was definitely at a point in my life where
Tim Doyle (38:19.992)
Probably subconsciously, I wasn't even thinking about that.
But it's okay to be like, well, I can't talk to myself or...
Those lines don't feel like they're open. Right.
Start with baby steps and then work your way up.
Tim Doyle (38:42.914)
But talking with yourself is such...
a powerful tool. What do we always say? I got to talk with somebody about this.
Be that somebody. You can be that somebody.
That somebody doesn't have to be somebody else. Talk with yourself.
Tim Doyle (39:05.932)
Number 14. Just breathe. This would not have been on the list.
a few weeks ago.
Tim Doyle (39:21.08)
breathwork has become.
a very interesting part of my life now.
Tim Doyle (39:29.462)
I used to never do it, but time things back to the retreat, started doing it there and I've been doing it very consistently. The funny thing is actually this past week I actually tweaked the muscle doing breath work. I didn't even think that was possible, but I think I like tweaked the muscle like near my diaphragm. So it's actually been.
kind of challenging to breathe. It's gotten a lot better now. It's not 100 % but...
Tim Doyle (40:04.226)
Breathwork is.
a very interesting thing that I've added into my routine. And I'm starting to think that you can't perform at your highest level without breath work.
Tim Doyle (40:21.046)
just from like a bro science type of way of talking about it.
the impact of breath work, I mean, it just gets you locked in.
what I would do is I would do an eight minute breath work.
in the middle of the day, kind of almost like a reset and it just gets you locked in.
and the most powerful part of this breath work that I do. It's an eight minute guided breath work. And there's this line that always sticks out to me and it's ingrained in my head now.
Tim Doyle (41:05.164)
The most powerful mind is the quiet mind.
Tim Doyle (41:13.452)
And I think that's so true. The mind that just isn't thinking. And that's gotten me to thinking as well. like being a great thinker is knowing when not to think or being able to turn your mind off and just being in the moment, being present, being calm.
and being silent internally. And that's a powerful feeling.
Number 15.
thing itself doesn't matter. Your relationship with it does.
Gambling is bad. Alcohol is unhealthy. You shouldn't be drinking.
Tim Doyle (42:03.086)
Playing video games is a waste of time.
Tim Doyle (42:09.11)
It doesn't matter what the thing is.
Tim Doyle (42:14.048)
McDonald's is bad for you.
Tim Doyle (42:19.234)
The thing itself does not matter. It's your relationship with it that does.
Anybody who I think we're seeing this a lot now and it's great that we're talking about alcohol in a much more Candid transparent way now, but I think anybody who is just going to
Tim Doyle (42:42.4)
say alcohol is bad you shouldn't be drinking.
think that can do damage to a certain extent. Where it's like...
don't talk about.
the thing. Talk about the person and how they relate to that thing.
Tim Doyle (43:13.336)
like alcohol in my minds.
Like, alcohol, in my mind, is not bad.
It would just be a person has a bad relationship with alcohol.
using social media as well. How many people say social media is bad, social media is a waste of time? Social media is the most powerful tool in the entire world.
Tim Doyle (43:50.646)
It's a bad tool if you just use it for straight consumption. If your relationship with social media is grounded in chronic consumption, then yeah, social media is bad. But if you're using it to network with people and creation,
and creating relationships.
Tim Doyle (44:17.302)
and finding podcast guests and doing research and learning things, then it's the most powerful tool.
Tim Doyle (44:27.288)
So is social media good or is social media bad? Well, it's both. It's just that you choose the relationship that you want to have with it. Do you want to have a good relationship or do you want to have a bad relationship with it?
Tim Doyle (44:45.346)
Number 16.
Stop trying to figure yourself out. Your sense of feeling lost keeps you open, and that's a superpower.
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Being lost is being free in my mind.
being lost to a certain extent keeps you curious. It keeps you on your feet. It keeps you learning.
If you have yourself figured out, then you become stagnant in my mind. I know exactly who I am. I know the path that I'm on. That doesn't lead to growth. Being lost to a certain extent is a good thing. And you're not even lost. You just have an open mind in my eyes.
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Number 17, the unwilling things that have come into your life have guided you the most. This is a massive one for me.
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To a large extent, feel like I am the person I am today because of the things that have come into my life, unwillingly. The things that if I had the choice, I would have said 100 times out of 100, absolutely not. I don't want to do that. Or I don't want to deal with that.
The biggest one for me, obviously my back injury. I mean, that was just a total transformation of a person through that entire experience and that entire healing process. And that came into my life unwillingly. And that's something that I've also learned with a lot of the people that I've talked to on my podcast. They've all had some type of unwilling suffering or unwilling challenge that has come into their life. And that has led to them.
having this serious type of transformation and becoming their truest and most authentic self. Because when you have some type of unwilling challenge, it's like, all right, all bets are off. You get broken down. You're like, wow, this is the only life that I have. And it allows you to live more freely and live more truly.
And it's a powerful feeling to have something come into your life that sucks so much in the moment, but then see how much you've benefited from it.
And this leads to 18. Pain is a gift.
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Pain is a gift.
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My relationship with pain is very unique and that is stemmed from my back injury.
I was in 24-7 pain for seven months. Debilitating pain. From the time I got up to the time I went to bed. Just in constant discomfort.
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And when you're put into that type of environment,
When your body is just dealing with 24 seven pain.
your mind goes to some really really really interesting spots that it's never gone to before that you never knew existed within you
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And the cool thing about that.
Is that?
when the pain went away?
I still had access to those spots within myself.
I still gained a lot of wisdom.
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So imagine that.
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We see pain as this thing that breaks us down.
that closes us up when in actuality it's the exact opposite. Pain opens us up like no other. And you will see who you truly are.
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And I'm not talking about, you know, pain that you feel for a day or, you know, you tweak a muscle. I'm talking about pain, long-term pain.
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It can be a special gift and a special experience.
Number 19.
Discipline is nothing without compassion.
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Bing.
Tough and strictly with yourself is one thing.
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but then being disciplined from the type of mindset where you are trying to punish yourself is a very dangerous game.
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And I think...
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I experienced that a little bit or.
I feel like I was so strict with myself, so disciplined with myself because...
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It was keeping me in a very one-dimensional state of mind. It was keeping me closed off.
from.
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different parts of myself or different parts of myself that I needed to process.
So if you're using discipline as a coping mechanism.
or a tool to
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just be hard on yourself just for the sake of being hard on yourself.
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that can be very dangerous.
or let's say if you're disciplined but then you fall off for a day and it's a spiraling effect.
that I would say you don't have a good relationship with discipline.
which is why you need to couple discipline with also having compassion for yourself.
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and where compassion also comes into play with discipline is understanding that when you are disciplined with yourself, you are not going to most likely see some type of sizable result from that discipline right away. Discipline is about being consistent day in and day out where to the point where
It doesn't even feel like discipline anymore, but just your natural state of being in your natural state of how you work and live and think.
So you need to have that compassion for yourself when the discipline doesn't pay off, so to speak.
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Number 20.
The best progression can stem from regression.
going back to my back injury.
Every single day for months on end in the moment, I was like, I'm just getting worse and worse and worse and worse. I'm just digging myself a hole here.
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And if you looked at that with a very
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micro level lens where you're up close in that experience you would say yeah this person is just plummeting they're just getting deeper and deeper into the hole
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But once I got past that, to a certain extent, and I took a step out.
started looking at this entire experience with a macro lens.
massive progress I Was being built up into a person That I would not have been if I didn't go through this experience I would not be the person that I am today without that entire healing experience and More so than that just a true level of personal enlightenment and a higher level of consciousness that I have now
So yeah, it was regression in the moment. That's what it felt like. But the most amount of progress I've ever made in my entire life.
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Number 21, if you can build yourself, you can build anything.
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If you know how to...
Build yourself into a person who's physically fit, mentally fit, spiritually fit.
if you know how to take care of yourself, if you know how to...
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run yourself like a business to a certain degree. If you know how to run yourself like a machine.
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You have the mindset.
to build anything else.
I feel like I'm just...
starting to make the baby steps into that. I'm just starting to learn that and truly embody that. But it's something that I truly believe.
If you have the work ethic and the discipline and the tools.
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to build yourself inside and out, you can do it with anything else. It's the exact same mindset.
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Number 22.
Working out wasn't your purpose. It was a bridge to your purpose.
For the longest time, I thought working out is my thing. This is who I am. I'm gonna be a trainer or I'm gonna open a gym or I'm gonna be a strength coach. That's what I thought.
But then I started to learn, was like...
kind of just like working out for myself.
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I don't have that desire or that passion or that higher purpose to...
Be within.
this type of gym and fitness environment from a business or a life perspective.
This is just a very passionate hobby that I have just for myself.
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and I have much greater interests when it comes to
using my voice for podcasting, brand building.
sales, building a business, talking.
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but I wouldn't have.
gotten to this point or I wouldn't have learned that or I wouldn't have had the confidence or the skills to start a podcast or do what I do with all social media stuff and
experience with my back pain.
and creating myself into the person that I am today.
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I wouldn't have gone to that point if it weren't for the gym.
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So it's not that I'm saying, I didn't need, I didn't need the gym or I didn't need working out or I didn't need to build myself up to get to the point that I am now. No, that's not true at all. I did need all those things. It's just that it wasn't the end destination or it wasn't the path that
I was going to continue to go down. It was just a bridge to a different section of the road that I needed to get to.
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Number 23.
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detached from yourself because you do not exist, your perception of yourself does.
It was a great one. I love this one. And this is one that
I started to understand the foundation of.
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going back to my back injury again. A large part of my healing process for
My back injury, which was two herniated discs and my lumbar spine was mental work, meditation, what I like to call having talks with my brain.
And those were challenging to do at the start because I really had never meditated, really didn't have.
a guideline for how I was supposed to go about this. was kind of just like, hey, have talks with yourself, be open with yourself. And then what naturally happened or what I learned was, what can really help me with these talks?
is detaching from myself and starting to think and talk and visualize myself in the third person.
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where I was like, all right, I am not Tim Doyle. I am stepping out of this identity and I'm going to look at myself with a candid eye and be transparent.
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And I think that's a big thing that we can all do to be our truest selves, getting out of our own way. Stop seeing yourself as having an identity and just start seeing yourself as this character that you're playing. And you are not your care.
And this is something that another guest of mine talked about, which I thought was an incredible point. Nick Sweeney. You are this character.
but don't think of yourself as the character. You're the one with the controller and you're playing that character.
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You don't know who you truly are. We just create this perception and this narrative ourselves.
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So if we break that perception down, we break that narrative down, if we step outside of ourself,
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I think that allows us.
step further into alignment and start living more authentically.
Number 24.
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I've never thought highly of myself.
but I've always believed highly in myself.
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When you think highly of yourself.
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Think that when you think highly of yourself.
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That's in your brain. I that's your ego talking.
And I've truly, I've never thought highly of myself.
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I've always been like...
you need to work harder because you're not as good or you're not as talented or you're not as skilled or you don't have the natural abilities so you need to work harder.
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That's what my thought process has always looked like within my life. And you'd say, well, that's not good. And I would say, yeah, there's probably some negative components to that. What I would say is if I had to choose between being too hard on myself or too easy on myself, I'm going to choose being too hard on myself.
Because if I was too easy, you're good. You got it all figured out. You're better than everyone. That wouldn't get me anywhere.
So I've never thought highly in myself. But on the flip side of that.
I've always, my entire life, I've always believed highly in myself.
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And that is a deep emotional belief. That's what happens in your heart. Some of that you can't explain, you can't put into words.
It's just that deep emotional feeling in your soul of I believe in myself. And I think that's a powerful duality to have where you don't think highly of yourself, but you believe in yourself very highly. Because I think within that duality, it keeps yourself grounded. It keeps your...
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head and a good frame of mind.
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but believing highly in yourself that allows you to push forward.
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always thinking I need to work to achieve what I want.
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I believe I can get everything that I do want.
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Number 25.
Think, act, and live like you're in a story.
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Number 25, think, act, and live like you're in a story.
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Our lives, our character is a story.
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The more challenges that come into your life, the better the story. The more you overcome, the better the story. The more you are able to endure, the better the story.
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Facing fear rather than straying away from it, the better the story.
Seeking out discomfort, the better the story. Start thinking in terms of a story.
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start thinking in terms of if I were to write a book of my life when I was older, would I be proud to write out this story with all my actions that I've undertaken within my life?
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Am I going to do the comfortable thing? Am I going to do the thing that is I'm supposed to do?
Will that be better for my story? Will that make a better story? Or am I going to listen to my body intelligence? I'm going to do the thing that's a little out there. But guess what? That's going to make for a better story.
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And the best part about it, you're the one writing the story.
You're the character within your own story and you get to choose who you want that character to be.
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Number 26. The final one.
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Keep out working.
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had to be keep out working for number 26.
The thing that I will say though...
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I've branded the podcast and a lot of the stuff that I do now around this word outwork, keep outworking the outworker. What I'll say is.
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I was living by this.
I've been working a certain way.
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I've been holding myself to a certain standard.
for a long time.
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before I ever even spoke this word, outwork, or even had the idea or the thought about keep outworking or the outworker.
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I did not find this word out work or it's not like I.
sat down and was like, wonder what I want to call this. This whole philosophy and this whole mindset behind outworking. It chose me to a certain extent and it found me I did not find it.
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And to a large degree, I felt like I needed to.
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Earn.
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The fact that I could call this podcast the out worker or use this word outwork.
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Because for myself personally, I was like...
Do I feel like myself as a person, do I feel like I've embodied this word outwork in this type of definition that I've put on it where it's me trying to outwork my past self.
does that feel authentic to me? Does that feel true to me? And on top of that...
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would other people see that as authentic for me? Or they think, what is he, what is he doing using that word? We're creating a podcast around that.
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I didn't know it at the time, but.
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this word outwork.
had been playing a large role in my life for many years before I ever made.
the decision or had the thought that it really resonated with.
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So keep out working.
And what I would say is find your word. Maybe outwork. Maybe that really resonates with you.
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and you want to...
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create your mindset and your way of living and acting and thinking around.
this philosophy of outworking.
but find your word as well.
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But what I would also say is you won't necessarily find the word but the word will find you through your actions. If you stay true to yourself, if you follow your body intelligence, if you play your own game, if you follow your intuition, the word will find you more than you are trying to find the word.
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So with that.
Keep out working and I will see you in the next episode.
