The Outworker
Stories of healing, personal development, and inner work. Founded on the idea that the relationship with oneself is the most important to develop, but the easiest to neglect, The Outworker shares conversations aimed at helping you develop that relationship.
The Outworker
#040 - Janine Shepherd - A Broken Body Builds A Stronger Spirit
Janine Shepherd was training for the Olympics when a devastating accident changed everything. She broke her neck and back, sustained many other injuries, was told she’d never walk again, and faced the challenge of chronic pain. In this episode, Janine shares how she rebuilt her life—learning to walk again, becoming a pilot, and transforming her pain into a source of strength. Her story is a powerful testament to resilience, reinvention, and finding purpose beyond life’s toughest obstacles.
Timestamps:
00:00 Potential For The Olympics
01:37 Being A Lone Wolf
03:04 Day In The Life As An Athlete
04:24 Day Of Accident
08:13 Janine's Injuries
11:04 Shifting Between Physical & Spiritual Dimensions
14:29 Breakdown In Identity
18:05 Having Limitations Put On You
20:02 Giving Up Control
22:05 The Physical Rehab Process
25:15 Dealing With Depression
27:57 Relationship With Chronic Pain
29:34 Spirituality & Faith
31:10 Reading Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl
33:27 Rebuilding Life With Flying
36:18 The Driver Who Hit Janine
37:53 Living In The Moment With Flying
40:22 Flying Helping With Physical Rehab
41:54 Detaching From Past Life & Environment
46:42 You Are Not Your Story
49:36 Feeling Fear, But Not Afraid
50:35 Connect With Janine
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What’s up outworkers. Janine Shepherd was training for the Olympics when a devastating accident changed everything. She broke her neck and back, sustained many other injuries, was told she’d never walk again, and faced the challenge of chronic pain. In this episode, Janine shares how she rebuilt her life—learning to walk again, becoming a pilot, and transforming her pain into a source of strength. Her story is a powerful testament to resilience, reinvention, and finding purpose beyond life’s toughest obstacles.
Tim Doyle (00:09.814)
When did you become aware that you had what it took to possibly make it to the Olympics?
JANINE SHEPHERD (00:17.78)
I think I always thought I was going to go to the Olympics. When I started my athletic career, I was around six or seven with little athletics in Australia. That's a huge thing. And I always thought I was going to go for athletics because I had become a national champion and that was just the path I thought I would take. So it wasn't until much later that I...
gravitated into lots of different sports, triathlons and eventually cross-country skiing. And I just realised that, you there was an opportunity there in cross-country skiing. Australia hadn't been renowned for its strength in winter sports at the time, but I'd had a background in endurance sports. So I just, I always had this belief that I was going to go. I just didn't know what I was going to go for.
Tim Doyle (01:11.714)
The goal was to race in the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary. And like you mentioned, Australia with winter sports and especially cross-country skiing, not much of a big presence there. What was it like being a lone wolf to a certain degree since Australia didn't have a woman's cross-country skiing team?
JANINE SHEPHERD (01:17.447)
Thank
JANINE SHEPHERD (01:36.098)
Yeah, it was difficult. mean, Australia now is actually very strong in the Winter Olympics, particularly in park and aerials and such. But at the time, of course, it wasn't. We actually have ideal conditions for cross-country skiing. And with my background in endurance sports, I felt like this was really...
you know, ideal for me. And also I'd been overseas skiing and racing and I met up with the Canadian ski team and their coach at the time was a guy called Marty Hall and he invited me to come and train with the Canadian team, which was a really great opportunity for me because it meant that I could, you know, still represent Australia, but I would be training, travelling with the Canadian team and using all their facilities. So.
It was a great opportunity and the stars were aligned and I thought this is it. I'm really going to go and put Australia on the map as a force to be reckoned with. So yeah, it was really exciting time for me.
Tim Doyle (02:38.926)
peak of your career, what would a typical day look like for you in terms of training and recovery and stuff like that?
JANINE SHEPHERD (02:46.372)
Yeah. Well, the time that, you know, leading up to the Olympics and also, you know, I was at university at the time I was studying to be, I studying a sports science degree. wanted to be an exercise physiologist. So my whole life revolved around sport. And so it was, every day was training. Every day was different though. A lot of endurance training, a lot of
a lot of running, a lot of bike riding. In winter, of course, we had to, well, in our summer, I traveled overseas to be on snow and in our winter I would ski here. But as a cross-country skier, there was a lot of endurance training. So a lot of running, a lot of ski specific training, work in the gym, things like that. And also I was studying at the time as well. So I used to fit that in with my normal university day as well.
And all of my friends were athletes. So it was a very social life. know, I would, my boyfriend was also in the Australian ski team. you know, my social life was also training as well.
Tim Doyle (04:00.13)
getting deeper into your bike training. I know you don't remember a lot of the details, but take me back to that day in 1986 of your bike accident and how everything unfolded after that.
JANINE SHEPHERD (04:15.428)
Yeah, well I was actually a very strong bike rider and at one point there was an opportunity to perhaps also represent Australia in the Olympics as a cyclist but all of my friends were skiers and I sort of took that route instead. Leading up to the actual day I'd been over training and which is quite common for a female athlete. I actually also had the
effects of not having a period. was very I had very low weight as well. I'd lost a lot of weight but I was you know extremely muscular but there was a lot of fatigue there. So I actually thought I had planned not to go on the ride and it was only that one of my teammates was going and said come on you know come along and I thought okay I will go after all even though I'd been to the
doctor at university and they'd done some tests and they said, look, you're you're over training. So looking back now, it's, you know, I sort of look back and think, wow, I mean, imagine if I'd made a different choice and hadn't gone. So I set off on the ride. We were going with all my teammates. So there were probably about maybe 25 to 30 of us. And it was a ride that we did, you know, every year. And we rode from Sydney
up to the Blue Mountains, which is west of Sydney, and it was about a six hour bike ride. So I only remember the beginning of the ride. I,
remember being tired. remember going on the ride with all of my friends and we were almost at the end of the ride. We're probably on the last half an hour of the ride which was the hills. The part that I really loved usually. And then I just remember thinking I'm you know I'm really tired. I was really struggling. I was actually at the back of the pack. was the only female on the ride at the time. I remember a friend caught up with me John. And I sort of commented to him that I was really really struggling with the hill.
JANINE SHEPHERD (06:27.338)
And I just remember looking up, seeing the sun shining in my face and that was my last memory. And everything I know from there on has been what's been told to me from, you know, as I've put the pieces together from friends, from the medical people, the ambulance driver that picked me up and arriving in hospital. I had what I call a death experience, not a near death experience. I had a death experience.
Tim Doyle (06:57.088)
What were all the injuries that you sustained?
JANINE SHEPHERD (07:00.91)
Well, I broke my neck and my back in six places. I broke five ribs on my left side. I broke my right collarbone. I broke my right arm. I broke some bones in my feet. My whole right side was ripped open, filled with gravel. My head was cut open across the front, lifted back, exposing the skull underneath. Head injuries, internal injuries, massive blood loss. I lost about five litres.
leaders in Australia, leaders of blood, which is really all someone my size would actually hold. So by the time I was taken by the Westpac rescue helicopter, I was flown down to a spinal unit in Sydney and my blood pressure was 40 over nothing. So they didn't think I was even going to survive the helicopter flight.
Tim Doyle (07:51.404)
Matt Long on my podcast a little while back, New York City firefighter, a lot of endurance sports, whether it's marathons or Ironmans. And he had somewhat of a similar experience where he was on a bike in New York City and he got ran over by a bus. He was given a 1 % chance to live, but miraculously did survive. And the doctors told him that
They believe that he survives because his body had been so used to so much physical stress and physical trauma from his endurance training that that's why his body was able to take on such a mass amount of physical trauma from that accident. Do you think you could have been a similar case that because of how good of shape you were in physically and how much stress you would put your body through? mean, you said it yourself how
you were overtraining and you were very fatigued that your body was used to that type of physical trauma. So obviously, you know, your body took on even much more physical trauma, but was used to it to a certain extent.
JANINE SHEPHERD (09:05.668)
Without a doubt, I was extremely fit. I'd been tested down at the Australian Institute of Sporting Canberra leading up to the accident. And I remember being told that I had the highest VO2 max oxygen uptake of any female that had tested at the time at the institute. So I think had I not been as fit as I was, I wouldn't have survived. In a way, it feels like I'd spent my whole life training for the accident.
So yeah, in a very similar way. know that they didn't think the chances of surviving after being hit by a speeding utility truck were almost none.
Tim Doyle (09:48.408)
So after you get hit and you're in the hospital for 10 days, you shifted between two dimensions being in your physical body, but also being out of your body and watching yourself like a different person. What did that detachment from yourself teach you?
JANINE SHEPHERD (10:09.442)
Well, it taught me a lot because I felt that I'd leading up to that time, my whole life revolved around being an athlete, focusing on my body. And I mean, it really started my search because I wanted to understand what happened when I left my body.
I read a lot of books on NDEs or near-death experiences and none of mine seemed to match. So I couldn't make sense. I feel like I've spent my entire life trying to make sense of what happened. And I realised that there's this great mystery and maybe I'll never really understand it fully and I'm always searching for answers and meaning. And that's really been a driving force behind what I'm doing now.
Sorry if that just popped up in the screen. But it really...
You know, one of my favourite quotes is Marcel Proust, who says, journey of discovery is not seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. And I feel that it gave me new eyes, not in the sense of actual eyes, but just a new perspective on life. You know, I realised that we're not, you know, human beings, you know, having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience. that's been, you know, a real insight for me.
realising that this is, you know, as far as I'm concerned, this is not it. You know, there's so much more than this. And that's enabled me to endure some of the most difficult times of my life.
Tim Doyle (11:49.671)
offered a choice remain in this spiritual world or return to my physical body.
JANINE SHEPHERD (11:55.556)
Sorry, can I just blow my nose? I've got like hay fever. So don't put this in. Yep.
Tim Doyle (12:01.099)
No worries.
That's what editing is for. I'm just going to repeat that.
I was offered a choice, remain in this spiritual world or return to my physical body. So it felt like you had the conscious choice between those two options.
JANINE SHEPHERD (12:24.772)
Yeah, absolutely. think we've all, I think that's been a great gift for me that I recognise that I did have a choice. I didn't want to go back to that body because I knew it was broken and I also knew in this sort of state of awareness that I was in that if I went back, I would be returning to a body with a disability, a broken body and knowing that I chose to go back. So
It's given me a perspective now where everything that happens, even the most difficult things that happen, I feel like, well, I chose this. So what can I learn from this?
So it's been a lifelong journey of you know as I said trying to make sense of why I came back and I feel like actually quite recently I've done some work with one of my therapists and I've really have come to the conclusion that I came back because it was a great opportunity for me because you don't always get what you want in life but you do get what you need and that's what I needed.
Tim Doyle (13:41.014)
In the moment, you went from being this standout accomplished athlete. And like I mentioned earlier, this lone wolf. So it made you stand out even more to now being this patient that you say begins to feel like a number in the system. Obviously you had gone through a lot of physical trauma, so you couldn't really process these feelings in the moment. When did that?
loss of identity really set in for you.
JANINE SHEPHERD (14:16.93)
I think it really set in for me when I got home from hospital, because when I was in the spinal ward, just like everybody else, I had nurses and doctors looking after me all the time and other patients. So that was my sort of new sense of normal. And I just had this crazy belief that I would get home and life would go on just as it was before. And it wasn't until I got home, I weighed, you know, about five and a half stone.
I'm not sure what that is in American weight measurements. There was nothing of me. I was covered in a plaster body cast. I was in a wheelchair attached to a catheter bottle. I couldn't walk. You I had to learn to self catheter. I mean, everything in my life when I got home, I realized, wow, I've lost everything. And that was a really difficult time. They had told me, well, actually the head nurse in the hospital had said,
want you to be really ready because you will get depressed. And I thought no not me because my nickname was Janine the machine. All of my athletic friends had given me that nickname and I thought no I'm going home and getting my life back, learn to walk, get back into skiing and I just had no idea. I just really didn't have an understanding of spinal cord injury and the permanence and you know what I was really facing which is probably just as well because they had told my parents.
in beginning, don't tell her anything until she asks because they just thought it was too overwhelming. And it was probably a good decision because I think maybe I would have given up if I'd known just how difficult it was going to be. So I think getting home and, you know, out of hospital, back into my bedroom with all the reminders around me of all the things that I'd lost, all of my friends had, you know, gone back to their lives.
back to skiing and racing and traveling overseas and I was on my own and it was, yeah, it was a really difficult time. And I think it really hit me then, wow, this is what I'm facing, permanent disability.
Tim Doyle (16:28.76)
That nickname, Janine the machine, how do you think having a one dimensional nickname like that where it's solely focused on your physical abilities, how do you think that affected you when your machine broke down, so to speak?
JANINE SHEPHERD (16:45.666)
Yeah, well it's really funny because at the time it was a funny nickname because I mean they gave me that nickname because I trained so hard and now I laugh and say now I'm Janine Linguini, a friend gave me that because I think I've become more flexible and able to go with the flow of life. So it was an endearing nickname and it really did capture the person that I was at the time.
Tim Doyle (17:17.196)
You talked about how that nurse of yours said that be careful when you get home because you might get depressed and being practical is one thing I think, but what limitations do you think your doctors put on you after everything that happened?
JANINE SHEPHERD (17:37.604)
I think they tried in the beginning but it just didn't work. think my doctor, I was, I've been really fortunate that I've had incredible doctors the entire time that just really let me go, you know, and explore and they're still very special people in my life. So I don't really think, maybe it's just that I didn't listen. I just...
I just didn't listen to whatever anybody told me I could or couldn't do. And that's probably been one of my strengths in life.
Tim Doyle (18:13.72)
Do you feel like that's how you, you've always been that you've always just listened to yourself even before the injuries, whether it was with sports and skiing, or do think that just got heightened after your injuries?
JANINE SHEPHERD (18:27.178)
think you'll have to ask my mum. I think yeah I think I've never really listened. I think that I've just gone out there and given things a go and you know see how how it unfolds and I've done that in my recovery as well because I think that it's very easy for medical staff to tell people what they can and can't do and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and I've already
you know, broken so many expectations in what I've been able to achieve in my life that I just, do like to do things that people say you'll never do. So if someone says you can't do it, it just probably makes me more determined. So, yeah.
Tim Doyle (19:16.278)
I think in a paradoxical way to be in complete control of a situation, we have to give up the need to be in complete control. And you say, surrender flooded over me. I realized there was nothing I could do but wait and heal. How important was it for you to surrender to the process and the path that you were on and the timeline of your healing?
JANINE SHEPHERD (19:45.676)
Yeah it's a good question because I think life is about that balance of you know throwing yourself in and not giving up and and being persistent and also sort of knowing when to surrender and let go and I'm still trying to figure that out. I think surrender is is very important and I would probably say to me the word that I would use now is acceptance and being able to just
sit with things and say well that's where it is now and what can I learn from it. In fact I wrote an entire book on acceptance called The Gift of Acceptance because it's you know it's been a really important virtue in my life. So I think we think we've got more control than we have and and that's challenging because and it's also recognising that is also
very empowering because you know you can sort of just let go and enjoy life a little bit more and realise that I sort of have this philosophy that things have actually already happened and so when you relax into that you feel like you're getting pulled into the future that's already there and you know I'm a great fan of Joseph Campbell and he talks a lot about that you know when you you know follow your bliss you know you find yourself on a sort of track that's always been there for you and I think
To me that really resonates.
Tim Doyle (21:19.01)
building off this theme of control, feel like the thing that we truly only have control over is the work that we do or the inputs that we have. What did your specific rehab and physical therapy work look like?
JANINE SHEPHERD (21:34.249)
Yeah and our reaction towards things and of course that's you know really essentially all we have control over in a sense. So you know when I got home because I was in that in-between world of spinal cord injury I was they knew that I'd be walking again to some degree they didn't know how well they knew I had permanent injuries I was essentially a paraplegic I am a paraplegic so I was in that in-between world where I at the time
Spinal cord injury protocol is very different to what it is now. So I was sent home and because I was an athlete and a background in sports science, I really did a lot of my own rehab and physio. So it was, you know, when I could, when I was able to, had a plaster cast on for three months that came off. Then I was able to get into a pool with help and swim and just, you know, walking, practicing my walking.
getting out of my wheelchair and having people help me and then eventually walking on my own. it was just a slow process, but I didn't have anything else to do. I just threw myself into it every day.
Tim Doyle (22:47.704)
How long did it take for you to take your first steps again and what was that experience like?
JANINE SHEPHERD (22:53.016)
Well, I'm not sure if I can put an actual timeline on it, but by the time I left hospital, so I was in the spinal ward in hospital for almost six months and I started my rehab in that hospital and they took me down to the gym and I remember they stood me up in between walking bars and that was a very emotional time because they had taken me down to the hospital gym.
And mum in that time had turned up and she, I wasn't in my bed and they told her I was in the gym. So she drove down there and she walked in and there I was in the, you know, the walking bars with someone holding me up with my plaster body cast. And it's the first time she'd seen me standing up for almost six months. And I mean, we both looked at each other and just cried and it was...
really bizarre also because they put the walking frame, the walking bars so that you're looking at a mirror. So they wheeled my wheelchair over, they stood me up so that I was holding onto the bars and I was looking at myself in this mirror. So you know one moment I was this elite athlete, very muscular, very fit going to the Olympics and there I was holding myself up on these walking bars. You know just a bag of bones, plaster, body cast. So different. Such a different person.
not just physically but internally as well. That time in hospital had changed me, you know, profoundly.
Tim Doyle (24:28.64)
You had this awareness that I am not my body. And I think that's a powerful idea. But like we've also spoken about earlier, you dealt with depression as well. And this wasn't purely just physical trauma or a physical challenge that you went through. Did you have the awareness on the mental side of things to also be able to tell yourself something like I am not my mom.
I am not my thoughts or how did you go about navigating this part of the journey?
JANINE SHEPHERD (25:00.708)
Yeah, well, going back to choice, think that's always been, you know, really.
interesting perspective for me because even when I face depressive moments today, which I do because as a spinal cord patient, there are times that are just, you know, really challenging for me when I'm suffering from chronic pain. Chronic pain is just a part of my life. And so we now know, for example, that chronic pain and depression share common pathways. So that's why a lot of people, majority of people with spinal cord injuries.
are also treated for depression. So it's just one of those things that you live with. But I think knowing that I made a choice to come back to my body has given me this, motivation to sort of push through it or to understand it or to stay with it and lean into it because I feel like, okay, what can I learn from this? But in the early days, was, you I was young, I was 24, you know, when I got, first got depressed, mum took me to a
psychiatrist, a therapist and I remember she was great. She said to me look these are early days and she drew something on a board like a wave. She said you're gonna have ups, you're gonna have down, know, lows, highs and lows and they're gonna be really strong right now. But as time goes on they're they're gonna flatten out and it was just enough to sort of get me through that time and I realised that now
Because I've been through those times in life, when I face, you know, chronic pain now or periods of depression, I just, it's almost like I've done it before so I can sit with it. I know one of my favourite phrases is this too shall pass. So that really, you know, keeps me grounded knowing that yeah, I'm going to get through this. This is just part of the human experience and
JANINE SHEPHERD (27:01.432)
That's also another important aspect is knowing that, you know, I'm not the only one going through this. We all go through this. This is part of being human.
Tim Doyle (27:11.128)
So getting deeper into your relationship with chronic pain and you had done or you've done acceptance therapy.
with your relationship with chronic pain? Is there a big mental and emotional component to it rather than just being purely physical?
JANINE SHEPHERD (27:36.424)
I think that's the most important part. Yeah, so I've trained in a lot of psychological therapies now. And one of those is, I've done a lot in positive psychology. In fact, I'm two years into a PhD at the moment in resilience and disability theories. So part of that is I've studied acceptance and commitment therapy. And yeah, it's been, I think to me, that's probably the most important aspect of living with chronic pain is.
I always say it's being able to, you know, sort of as if you've got a radio and you can turn the noise down in the background. So that's what I'm able to do, sort of turn that on so I can get on with doing the things that are important in life. So acceptance and commitment therapy is about understanding that, you know, these things are a part of life, depression, chronic pain, challenges, part of the human condition. So letting them
coexist. So and and living a values guided life like being very clear about you know what sort of a life you want to live what sort of person do you want to be and aligning yourself with those values so that you know you can sort of coexist with the challenges and the difficulties of life.
Tim Doyle (28:53.912)
There was this scene where you're in your room and you're still in your plaster body cast and you pull yourself off your bed and you fall onto the floor and you say, God, you either show me a way out of this or you show me a way through it. Have you always been a spiritual person or do you think that component of yourself got built after your injuries?
JANINE SHEPHERD (29:00.324)
Hmm.
JANINE SHEPHERD (29:19.704)
Well, I don't think you can go through what I call a death or a near death experience without having some sort of, to me, some sort of faith. I mean, to me, my faith is faith in the human spirit, faith in the divine human spirit. I think it's a very personal thing. And, you know, I wouldn't call myself a religious person, but I definitely would call myself a spiritual person. I do think that, you know, there's more than just this.
And that does give me the strength and the motivation to truly lean into those difficult times and to you know have I have a lot of spiritual practices. You know I'm a meditator. I like to spend time in nature. I do have more of a leaning towards
sort of Buddhist principles and practices. You know I'm part of a Vipassana meditation group and yeah they're the things that really support me now in my life.
Tim Doyle (30:29.888)
One of the first books that you read when you got home from the hospital was Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankel. On the surface, your story is very physically based with athletics and your near-death experience and then doing physical work that you needed to do to rebuild your body. In a more creative and intellectual way, what role did this therapy of reading this book?
JANINE SHEPHERD (30:36.804)
Yeah.
Tim Doyle (30:58.606)
plan your healing process.
JANINE SHEPHERD (31:00.834)
Well, I'm such a fan of Viktor Frankl. a few years ago, I received a letter from Russia from a lady that runs the Viktor Frankl Institute over there. And they were having a conference called the, I think it was it called the Defiant Human Spirit. And at the time, I'd just written my memoir called Defiant. And it was if the stars were aligning and
I realised that there's so much resonance between the way Viktor Frankl has lived his life and the way my outlook on life. And Viktor Frankl, for example, says, when you can't change what's happening on the outside, you're forced to change what's happening on the inside. And I realised that that's been my journey the entire time. Lying paralysed in a spinal ward,
know that you don't have control over anything you do I mean I did have to lie there and and wait and one of the things I did at the time was I made a decision that I would thank everybody that came in to visit me and smile and thank them and I mean that was the beginning of my practice of gratitude and at the time there were no empirical studies there wasn't a science of gratitude and now of course it's very big in positive psychology.
And we know that gratitude is a powerful tool that changes our brains. So there's just a lot of resonance between what Victor Frankel was writing about and the way I recovered from my accident.
Tim Doyle (32:47.15)
building off this theme of creativity. Before your accident, you never considered yourself to be a creative person, but after your accident, you were given the opportunity to embark on the most creative project somebody could do, which is rebuilding your life. How did flying play a pivotal role in that rebuild?
JANINE SHEPHERD (33:13.944)
important. Flying has taught me so much about life. You know I never wanted to fly in my life. And it wasn't until you know we talk about surrender and letting go but it was at that point where you know I was so depressed at home and I thought I'd lost everything. I know that you've you read this. So the driver that ran me over was charged with negligent driving and he got an eighty dollar fine. So
there was a lot of anger, there was a lot of depression, there was sadness and grief and I realised that if I was going to get through this I had to let go, I had to surrender and it was really to me that was you know I was given a clean slate. Okay I get to start again, I get to rebuild my life and that was when I realised that this you know rebuilding a life is the ultimate creative expression and I think
creativity comes from is born from curiosity. So I think it really you know I was just curious about my life then okay what can I do and it was at that point I think when we let go and surrender I think life has a way of of sort of synchronicity comes into life and it really was at that time sitting outside in my wheelchair that an airplane flew over and for some bizarre reason.
I looked up and thought, okay, if I can't walk, then maybe I can fly. I mean, I was in a wheelchair. It was ridiculous that it changed my life because it gave me a reason to get out of bed every morning. And everyone thought it was crazy, of course. And I remember telling my mom, I'm going to learn to fly. And mom thought it was ridiculous. But
Yeah, it changed everything. They drove me out to the airport, carried me in, lifted me into an aeroplane and it was just magic. It was about as far from the spinal ward as you could ever imagine. And I just thought, I'm going to do this. I didn't know how, but yeah, I'm going to do this.
Tim Doyle (35:29.132)
I guess that goes to the impact of not listening to other people, but just listening to yourself. And the flying is something that I want to dive deeper into, but just a side note on that. You mentioned the driver who hit you, he sent you a very cold, unapologetic letter. What was the pain that you dealt with there?
JANINE SHEPHERD (35:50.104)
Yeah.
JANINE SHEPHERD (35:53.512)
I just, well, you I felt there was a great sense of guilt because, you know, what my parents were going through and I really, you know, I thought, well, if you almost killed someone, wouldn't you want to see them in hospital? Wouldn't you go in? Wouldn't you visit them? And of course, none of that. But that was also a great exercise for me in forgiveness because I did write him a letter. I didn't have his address, but I wrote a letter. The actual social worker at the hospital had given me this exercise.
forgiveness letter essentially. So I wrote down how I felt and got all of those feelings out in a letter and then I just posted it with no address and let go. And to me that was a really powerful exercise and I always say that forgiveness, I mean to me that was the black belt of forgiveness, to forgive him. And I realised that if I wanted my life back I had to let go of that anger and you know they say
holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. So it was really important. It was saying, okay, I can't change that and I can't change him but what I can change is how I respond and and you know sending that letter and posting it was almost just you know it was letting go of that and it was a really powerful exercise.
Tim Doyle (37:17.518)
There was a time in my life when I dealt with a lot of chronic pain and something that helped me actually was driving because it allowed me to focus on a different activity rather than me focusing on the pain. How did flying allow you to live in the moment and take your mind off of things?
JANINE SHEPHERD (37:36.035)
Hmm.
JANINE SHEPHERD (37:44.67)
was so important. mean, I had, you know, as I said, a reason to get out of bed every morning and it was hard. mean, I had to, you know, instead of my sports science degree, there I was reading about aeronautical turns and things that I'd never been interested before. But, you know, it gave me something to really focus on and it's a really important aspect of recovery as well. When we talk about hope theory, C.R. Snyder from the University of Kansas.
has written extensively on hope theory and not being just a wishy washy thing, but a cognitive process, which is built on goals, pathways and agency. And for me, was, okay, I'm not going to the Olympics, but now I had another goal and I had to figure out the pathway is how am I going to get there and the agency of, I can do this. So these are cognitive structures that actually motivate us and keep us going. And
So, you one of the most important things for anyone that's gone through, you know, traumatic incident or has lost their, you know, their goal, can't do the things they did before. It's very, very important to try and, you know, find something else in life. And because I think we're goal-driven beings, you know, we need things to do. It doesn't really matter what it is. I mean, it's, you know, great if it aligns with our passions and our strengths, but, you know, just
do something and work towards that. that was so flying was just so, so important for me. And when I started, I didn't know where I'd end up. I didn't even know if I'd pass the medical to get my license. And as it turns out, I as you know, I mean, I went on and learned to fly, became a commercial pilot, learned to fly aerobatics, became an aerobatics flying instructor. It was, you know,
completely unbelievable in many ways, particularly for my doctors.
Tim Doyle (39:50.062)
How do you think that goal-driven work with flying helped you with your work that you needed to do on the rehab side of things and rebuilding your body?
JANINE SHEPHERD (40:03.202)
Yeah, I think the...
flying gave because I knew I had to try and strengthen my legs to be able to use the rudder pedals on the ground. so of course I was really motivated to get back into the gym and to keep swimming and to practice my walking and to be, get stronger and stronger so that I could fly an airplane so that I could apply the pressure on the pedals so I could stop the airplane on the runway, things like that. So it was just very, very motivating thing for me to do.
And also it was very stimulating because, you know, I had to study things that I'd never been interested in before and challenging. You there was a level of challenge there as well, you know, flying and going solo. And then, you know, I took a little aeroplane and flew around Australia. So I learned to navigate. And then, you know, sort of one step after another, I was just sort of breaking down all these barriers and, you know, learning.
be a flying instructor and then teaching other people how to fly and then learning to fly upside down. So it was just I mean I look back now and I did it in such a short time because I I just threw myself into it. But it was it just gave me reason to get out of bed. It was just so motivating.
Tim Doyle (41:26.958)
So in the process of rebuilding yourself, you're obviously creating this new and evolved version of who you are as a person and who you are internally. And something very challenging that I think a lot of people go through is that you need to detach from certain people who know you as a certain identity.
How challenging was the process of needing to detach from the people you knew within your athletic world because they knew you as Janine the machine and Janine the skier.
JANINE SHEPHERD (42:09.228)
It was difficult, mind you, I'm still friends with all my friends from athletics and skiing and they're a great support for me. But in the early days, it was incredibly painful because when I tried to socialise with them and they'd all be off running or skiing or, you know, it was very painful. So I knew I had to sort of spend a time away from them to just reinvent my life. And that was in flying.
and you know then I had all my pilot friends so it was yeah it was it was very difficult and of course sport has been such an important part of my life and it's hard to believe that it's you know it's not that important anymore and I've had to find that sort of sense of joy and bliss in other things that I do and I it's also given me an appreciation of of loss you know loss is
of life. We all go through it. We all lose things and eventually of course you know as we get older we're continually losing certain things until we eventually leave our bodies. The greatest loss. So it's just given me a real appreciation of you the human experience and what other people are going through as well.
Tim Doyle (43:30.326)
watched the 60 minutes segment on you and it starts by saying she was the fittest woman athlete in Australia and our best hope of gold at the Winter Olympics. Is there still a piece of you that can embody those parts of you and be proud of that version of you or does it feel like you've completely lost that person and you've completely detached from that identity?
JANINE SHEPHERD (43:58.276)
I think that person is always there and I do you know I'm you know there's times in my life when I'm going through difficult times when I really want to sort of reconnect to that sort of that athlete that athlete archetype that I still have within me and you know to get the strength to go through something. But I just I mean I've you know I'm older I guess hopefully hopefully a little wiser.
and a different perspective in life. So I just have a different appreciation of things now. yeah, think that we're made up of lots of different parts. And I think that part of me is still in there and that sort of fighter and determined part of me is still there. And thank goodness, because I've needed that so often.
Tim Doyle (44:49.902)
Going back to those 10 days where it felt like you were detached from your body, do you think having that conscious awareness of that experience has helped you in these years after your injuries and detaching from that previous version of yourself and creating this new version of yourself?
JANINE SHEPHERD (45:11.588)
Well, I think so. As I said, it's you know parts theory are made up of different parts but I think you know hopefully I'm a better person because I think as an athlete you become very self-focused. It's all about you and your performance and you know I've just I guess it's taken me out of a smaller story and into a greater story, a greater human story and a greater appreciation of the suffering that is out in the world and I think that's also been helped by
writing my books and also being on the speaking circuit because every time I go out and speak or give a presentation I have the opportunity to speak to people. People come up and share their story with me and that's been a great blessing. think that, you know, I always think that when you share your story what you do is you give people permission to share theirs and hearing other people's you know, gave me that perspective of, it's not only me and
opened me up to a bigger story.
Tim Doyle (46:14.786)
You certainly have an incredible story of resilience and defiance, but I think similar to the message of you are not your body. think it's also important to have the idea of you are not your story or you have this deeper three dimensionality to yourself. And I know you've dealt with
a lot of other things than just your physical injuries and near death experience, whether it's financial stresses or divorce, which obviously aren't life threatening things to go through, but they can be life altering things to deal with. What did you learn from your other challenging experiences that you didn't necessarily
learn from your physical injuries.
JANINE SHEPHERD (47:16.532)
I certainly have been through. think I've ticked off everything in this life at the moment. I've you know I've lost I've had physical loss, I've had divorce, I've you know there's just been a lot of challenges that I've faced in life and I think it's taught me that the hills just keep coming you know. At one point I remember thinking know I've had my accident that's it and then of course you know we had
you know a very devastating period with my breakdown of my first marriage and I'm gonna have to get you to pause because I've got that hay fever thing happening here and I'm glad that you can edit this so if you need to go back and repeat that question go ahead or you can just cut and paste but so I remember at a time when I thought
Tim Doyle (48:01.111)
always.
JANINE SHEPHERD (48:15.28)
I've, you know, I've been over my accident, I've had the hard time and then life is going to be great from now on. And of course that's not the case. You know, you go over one hill and you know, I always say to people, what's waiting for you? Another hill. that's knowing that has been, it's like a superpower because you go, there it is. There's that hill. I was expecting it. Okay. What can I take?
that I've used before in my life that I can apply to this hill because I think everything is patterns, you know, and you say, well, okay, well, this is what I did last time so I can do it this time. Sometimes it's different, sometimes it's the same, you know, once, I always say, once you accept that life has hills, then the problem or challenges, then the fact that it has hills doesn't matter anymore because you recognize it and you're expecting it. You go, okay, there it is.
And then you don't complain about it. You just sort of roll up your sleeves and you get on with solving the next problem. so I think having these problems has taught me that they just, that's part of life. Life's meant to have these hills.
Tim Doyle (49:26.262)
One of my favorite sayings is valleys make the mountains, similar to what you were saying.
JANINE SHEPHERD (49:30.734)
Yeah. Yeah.
Tim Doyle (49:34.284)
The high points of life are built because of the low points. And you have this great line, I still feel fear, yet I am not afraid. What does that mean to you?
JANINE SHEPHERD (49:45.688)
Yeah.
Well, that's the basis of resilience. I mean, it's it's recognising that, you know, fear is natural. Fear is the fact that we're human. It's part of the human experience. So it's about leaning in, know, turning towards our fear and coexisting with it. So, yeah, there are plenty of things that I'm afraid of, but as they say, courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it. So lean in.
lean into the things that that we're afraid of and you know resilience theory we know that when we turn towards the things we fear the you know fear fear pathways in our brains are reduced so I think that's the key just you know having the courage to lean in and face our fears.
Tim Doyle (50:38.542)
Janine, where can people go to connect with you and support your work?
JANINE SHEPHERD (50:44.228)
well on all the normal social media sites. You know, I'm on Instagram, Janine Shepherd, LinkedIn, Janine Shepherd. I'm not on Twitter anymore. Blue Sky. And yeah, just go onto my website. have a, if people do go onto my website, janineshepherd.com, I have a unshakable call community and I send out newsletters usually once a month.
on giving people tips and tools to build a more resilient life. So, you know, I welcome anyone to, you know, to join this community and I'll be sending one out next week. And it's been a joy to be able to share the things that have helped me and hopefully can help other people that are going through difficult times.
Tim Doyle (51:38.712)
Janine, really great having you on the show.
JANINE SHEPHERD (51:41.294)
So it's been great. Thanks Tim. It's lovely to meet you.
