Outworker
Stories of healing, personal development, and inner work. Founded on the idea that the relationship with oneself is the most important to develop, but the easiest to neglect, Outworker shares conversations aimed at helping you develop that relationship.
Outworker
#072 - Cal Callahan - The Power Of Unlearning & Rewriting Your Story
Cal Callahan shares how unlearning old patterns and rewriting the stories we tell ourselves can lead to breakthroughs we never imagined. We explore why the change we consciously seek pales in comparison to the transformation born from life’s unwilling experiences and how surrendering control can reveal a life we never thought possible.
This was also my first in-person interview, and the energy in the room made it unforgettable.
Timestamps:
00:00 Reflecting On Podcasting & My First In Person Interview
16:20 Changing Your Name Changes Your Identity
26:23 Unlearning & Rewriting The Narrative
30:30 Professional Life & Working In Finance
46:16 Unwilling Experiences & Being At The Vegas Shooting
56:57 The Softening Effect
1:04:12 What Cal Hasn't Had To Unlearn
1:12:52 Reflecting On The Conversation
1:15:53 Connect With Cal Callahan
Thank you so much for listening. I truly appreciate your time and support. Let me know what you thought of the episode and what you would like to see in the future. Any feedback would be awesome. Don't forget to subscribe for more exciting content on YouTube, and leave a review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or whatever platform you are listening on.
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What’s up outworkers. Cal Callahan shares how unlearning old patterns and rewriting the stories we tell ourselves can lead to breakthroughs we never imagined. We explore why the change we consciously seek pales in comparison to the transformation born from life’s unwilling experiences and how surrendering control can reveal a life we never thought possible.
This was also my first in-person interview, and the energy in the room made it unforgettable.
Speaker 1 (00:00.866)
Feels like we already started the podcast.
Of course, the best kind. Exactly. But it became what I realized was an education for me to your point, like preparation for the podcast and then being in the podcast and then exercising my curiosity, which I had let go of for a long time because there are a of systems in place so you're not curious. And as I started to explore that, was like, oh wow. And then it became a better listener because to be a good or a great podcast host, you've got to listen.
Right, we do our homework. We have all our questions. And it's like, how many of those questions did we end up asking? But it's all just getting us ready in the field for the conversation.
Yeah, the thing that I need to get better at, think I'm pretty good at it, but it'll just continue to refine itself over time is having that presence while also like, okay, where am I steering this conversation? And it's just like, it truly is an art form. Like when I love podcasters like yourself or Chris Williamson or Joe Rogan. And when you're a consumer,
You're like, wow, this is great stuff. But when you actually step into the role of a host, you just have such a greater appreciation for people who do it. like, wow, like you are really, really good at what you do. so I guess we'll officially start now. Cal, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (01:24.982)
Never. Yeah, thanks for asking for me to be here.
I've done 70 plus episodes of these and this is the first one that's in person.
I'm honored. Hell yeah.
And honestly, like, I feel it on a deep personal level. Like there's no one else I'd rather have in that chair right now. Like, like I'm serious. Like for some reason there's like no one else I'd rather have. And I think the big reason for that is, is because like we've been talking about, like I take podcasting very seriously from the standpoint of wanting to have great conversations, but creating a great experience.
for guests where it gives them energy and they feel like, wow, like that was a great use of my time. And I know I eventually wanted to get to the point of having in-person interviews. And as I was reflecting on the entire process, I was like, all right, if I'm gonna start doing that, then like I need to be over the top even more where like I'm really on my A game of creating that great experience for people. But by listening to you talk,
Speaker 1 (02:37.024)
in doing research on you, like that quickly just like dissipated where I was like, no dude, like just show up, like, like just be present, just have a conversation with someone. so I really, really appreciate you for giving me that peace of mind of just like, just have a conversation with this guy. And I think to show that I did research on you, I think where that really sunk in for me was.
Yeah
Speaker 1 (03:06.636)
the mindset that you brought to being asked to be goalie for the Blackhawks St. Louis Blues charity game for Kelly Chase, where you were like, I'm just showing up. Like, I'm not going to train for this. I'm not going to stress about it. I'm just going to be present. so that was a little director's cut there. I usually like to just jump right into it and ask questions for the guests and put it on them to get into the flow of things. But.
I feel like I just needed to do that because so greatly appreciative for you being here.
thank you. I'm honored and I felt that very, you know, throughout my entire body as you were sharing that. So thank you. And yeah, I mean, before we even pressed record, there was an amazing connection there. So thanks for having me on and I love such a deep cut. Yeah, I'm going to, let me get to that in a second, but it's interesting. I've been in this season lately where
I've done a lot of kind of personal work around some plant medicines and with that have wanted to create some space for myself to integrate. And while my wife and I and our kids are getting ready to leave for the summer and we're here in Austin, as you know, it's hot. I had a lot of podcasts to do in order to fulfill, you know, the season while I'm going to be gone.
So honestly, I canceled a few podcasts that I was hosting and there were other things that I was moving around on my calendar and for whatever reason, this was never an option to shift this at all. And the only way I can describe it, because my wife was asking me like, where are you going today? Who's podcast? Guy reached out and I said, I just liked the way he asked. And it was like, whatever the...
Speaker 2 (05:04.866)
the frequency was, there was a resonance. like, this guy doesn't want anything from me. He seems really earnest in his ask and he seems super interested. So I'm like a full fuck yes. so that's the energy I came in with today. While I've got a lot of things going on, like I'm totally here present and I couldn't even tell you what those things are right now. You know, so thank you for that. Yeah, you mentioned
You know, this was really interesting when I got asked. So Kelly Chase, you know, for those who don't know, Kelly Chase played a number of years for the St. Louis Blues tough guy, like back when the enforcers were, as you know, like were a thing. And just a guy who I have such a deep love and respect and loyalty towards has been battling cancer for a
probably three years now and he's been on the brink of not making it through. And this year they did their second annual Blackhawks Blues Alumni Hockey game in honor of, it's called Puck Cancer and they raised a bunch of money and it's amazing. And the Blackhawks didn't have a goalie. So I played goalie in college.
And at Amherst College, which is Division II, it's not like I had any aspirations to play in the NHL, but I would say at some point in my life I did. When I was very young, I was like, that'd be amazing, because I loved hockey and I watched NHL all the time. what, you know, Kelly asked me if I would play goalie, and I said, well, I'll do anything for you, certainly.
And I hadn't played in eight years. You know the story, but I'll share it for the listeners, but I hadn't played in eight years. I hadn't been working out and like you, I usually stay pretty on my fitness game, but it'd probably been about five weeks since I'd really worked out, maybe worked out once or twice with Cher and I when he was in town actually, incidentally enough. And so I had this stuff come up after I said, yes, I was like, well, get on the ice a little bit. I'll start working out again.
Speaker 2 (07:22.958)
All this anxiety came up in me. And I finally got to the point where I've done enough of the self-reflection in a work where I just stopped and I said, no one fucking cares how you play. They're not going there for you. And you're playing for the away team. So as a goalie, if you happen to let a few softies in, there's a crowd and there happen to be like 3,000 to 4,000 people there.
they're gonna be pretty happy, okay, so the crowd's happy, maybe my ego isn't, but so I started to just let go of all this stuff that has been built up over a number of years. there's also one of these principles that a close friend of mine, Dr. Steven Young, who's an amazing guy and I've learned a lot from him, but he's deep in the hermetic laws and
And there's this principle that you just do the opposite. Whatever you normally do, just do the opposite and see what happens. Play on that other edge so you understand. And for me, my curiosity has taken me to many edges. without discernment, they can be some dangerous, challenging edges. Nonetheless, there are these edges and I like to explore those. So I just employed that practice. I said, just do the opposite.
I didn't work out. So I had about a month or so until the game. didn't work out. I never got on the ice. I didn't get my equipment down from my attic until the day of the flight.
I checked, I had all my gear, and when I got there, they had a fantasy camp going on, so I was gonna be able to play, get on the ice, and just feel it out, so I was gonna do that, and I got up that morning, was like, fuck it, I'm going all in, I'm not getting on the ice until warmups. And I'm sitting in a locker room with a bunch of guys who play in the NHL, I'm the only guy who didn't play in the NHL, and there are Hall of Famers there.
Speaker 2 (09:28.142)
There's a handful of guys I know from where I spend my summers in Idaho. And so it's just a really cool experience. Guys I watched growing up. And I was walking, it was a really long walk to get on the ice, just where the locker room was situated. And as the anxiety started to come up, I just started to recite the Ho'oponopono prayer.
which there are many different versions, but the one that resonates with me is I love you God, and you can kind of put in whatever resonates with you, but for me it's I love you God. I'm sorry I've not recognized your love and your divine orchestration in every moment of my life. Please forgive me. I forgive myself. Thank you. And it's just like, whenever that anxiety of like, you're gonna do this and this is gonna happen.
It went away and long story short, got on the ice, made a couple of saves, lit up a soft goal, got it out of the way and ended up just like having so much fun. I was able to soak in the moment and what was so different in that experience to the thousands of times I had played goalie before is I stopped looking at the clock and wanting it to get to zero.
so that I wouldn't let in any more goals and so I would do a good job. I was able to sink into the moment and appreciate that I got to play in the NHL in a sense. You know, in a way that it's not what my 10 year old self envisioned, but in reality it's what was available to me. And in this same week, I
had a clip from my podcast with Chase Hughes where we talking about the DMT laser experiment that he did that got put up on Joe Rogan. so, you know, like a lot of our dreams, like it'd be amazing to be on Joe Rogan. So I checked that box. Am I ever gonna sit across the desk from him? Don't know, but I got on Rogan. It was super cool. And.
Speaker 2 (11:51.714)
know, Ricky Fowl is a good friend of mine and his kind of rep for Puma in Cobra reached out to me and said, hey, Ricky's shooting a commercial down in San Antonio. Would you like to be a part of it? Would you be an extra? Absolutely. Like, yeah. Tell me when, where, the whole thing. I show up, turns out I'm not an extra. I'm the only other person besides this caddy in the ad. Now, so I'll just leave it at that because the ad's coming out.
that's not out yet.
It's not out yet, it's coming out during the British Open. was gonna be out during the US Open, but he wasn't in it, so it's coming out during the British Open. Awesome. And so I'm like a key character in this ad with Ricky. And so it's like these three things happen within a week of one another. it's like, what?
what is going on and it's just like letting go of the idea of like, have any fucking clue about what's happening and what's going to happen. And I think it's important to you know, plans and structure and goals, but to really hold onto them loosely. That's been the real lesson for me in this season is it doesn't happen how you think it's going to. Playing in the NHL, being on Rogue and
I don't even know what you'd call the Puma ad, you know, but it's just like really, you know, just letting go of this idea that we have control. And plant medicines can be a helpful tool in that and they're not for everybody. And there's a lot of work I've done in my partnership with my wife, we've been married 25 years.
Speaker 2 (13:39.106)
I have three kids that are 22, 19 and almost 18. So that's been a complete, you know, kind of ceremony and initiation into, I don't have control. As I try to control them when they're younger, like I see what happens. And as I've gotten older, as I've allowed them to have their experience and let go of control, stay close and be a part of their life.
Like, look what happens for them. Look what happens for me. What do I learn about myself and how do they get to learn about themselves? And so a lot of this is just like this rewiring and you know, my podcast is The Great Unlearn and it's just about like all these systems and structures that have been put into place, sometimes well-intended, other times not, you know, for control of us. And so just to unlock those agreements
And, you know, for me, I've started to understand that the unlearning, it's not about unlearning and then relearning. It's like unlearning and then remembering a way that we knew whether it was when we were really young before all the conditioning came in, or maybe it was a time that isn't in this lifetime that our souls experience. And there's a remembering that the body knows, the soul knows how to be. And I feel like
My work, my role here is to uncover those things and just to learn the many versions of myself and to explore these different ways to learn about myself. And so the curiosity, the podcast comes in to really stoke that curiosity to bring others in, right? Share their experiences and just dig into those things.
as they relate to me and as it may resonate with people who are listening. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:36.214)
Yeah, I mean, those three things. I mean, the hockey, Joe Rogan, Ricky Fowler, none of that came from ambition or something that you set out to do. That was all just spontaneity. And like you were saying, living on that other edge and seeing what would happen. The thing that I'm most interested about going back to the hockey is how it was a catalyst for your name shifting. you're...
legal name is John, but you've always gone by Cal. And to be completely honest with you, be completely honest with you, when I was reaching out and you responded and it said, John Callahan, I was like, wait, I was like, do I have the right guy here? And obviously doing deep research on you. mean, like I said, your legal name is John, but then when you went off to a boarding school for hockey, you know, you took on this new identity of Cal.
Cuts!
Speaker 1 (16:31.074)
What was that shift in identity like and what's the relationship between those two names for you?
Yeah, phew, great, I haven't... I don't even know if I've really... I haven't talked about this in a long time. And I've thought about it.
Speaker 2 (17:00.312)
So Cal came about quite naturally, right? Everybody gets nicknames. Most everybody. And so it just as a, you you play on team, you get a nickname. Mine was Cal. And Boonie, you got it.
I'm Boony.
Speaker 1 (17:15.821)
Was that for the boondocks? Like you're just from the boondocks of man? was.
It just, you know what, it came from, someone started to me, someone called me on my soccer team in high school, Cal Booney. It just like was a thing, and then it got shortened to Booney. And then Boones, and so by the time I went away to boarding school after my junior year in high school, it was Cal and Booney, and then when I went to college, it was just Cal. like everyone called me Cal, my coach, my teammates.
people at school and I just started to take it on. And then I left college, went to Chicago and I was just Cal. My badge as a trader was Cal. And it wasn't until many years later, and I would say it wasn't until I was in a men's group here probably five years ago where I started to get asked that question and hadn't thought about it.
And what I realized was there was this version of me throughout my childhood that I wanted to separate from, and I was John. And as I took on this new identity, who didn't grow up in a small town and who didn't have the upbringing I had, and this was like where I was with my particular perception of that upbringing, right?
at that time. I wanted to leave that behind and become this new kind of avatar. Cal, fucking goalie, went to a great college, have a great job, doing well as a trader, just this new thing. And as I started to unpack that and understand that for me to really be whole, I needed to love that younger version of me.
Speaker 2 (19:16.142)
And I thought in that moment five years ago, as I started to play with that, that I started to bring him back into my life. And I have a really close friend of mine, Garen Jones, who was on my podcast, and he lives here in Austin, and he was really bringing that out to me, this boy, this childlike enthusiasm, this joy, because that's how Garen lives his life.
And so I was really starting to anchor into that, but I never really completed the loop. And where I got emotional a few moments ago is it wasn't until maybe March of this year, so I'm 53, March of this year, where I kind of closed the loop on that. And it was just a personal record.
reconciliation with my dad and with my mom. And it wasn't that we were estranged or anything, but there was a version of my childhood and how my dad showed up or didn't show up that I was believing. And in this version, you know, this eight, nine year old version of me thought that,
you know, as you start to learn about emotional intelligence as you get older, you start to try to figure out why you're a little bit fucked up about some things and why you and your partner are fighting and it's easy to kind of put that on your parents, right? And so my dad, frankly, just didn't have much emotional intelligence and honestly, to this day, he doesn't have much. And as a friend pointed out to me quite recently, he's like, your dad doesn't speak Spanish either because no one taught him. You know, so my dad was never taught that. His dad was...
a son of a bitch. My dad was really hard on me. this awakening I had around that was like, okay, so my dad didn't have a certain set of tools that we have today. We have access to them. Like if you don't have emotional intelligence today, like come on, man, it's fucking everywhere, right? It's it's kinda on you at this point. But back then it was so rare.
Speaker 2 (21:37.6)
And I started to see all the ways he showed up. I started to see things like me going to Amherst College, which was not cheap. Him never saying like, yeah, you gotta go to the state school, because that's all we can afford. He and my mom took out loans. I certainly took out student loans and they made it work. Anything that was important in his mind to make me the best man he could.
And when I started to really feel into that, I started to see all the sacrifices he made. And frankly, he and my mom, it wouldn't have been out of the realm of possibility for them to have been divorced before I was even born, the way their relationship was. But they stayed married for over 40 years, largely because they both thought, and they didn't have a conversation about this,
but individually they both thought that was what was best for me and my sister. I wouldn't do that today if me and my wife, if it were time for us to part and we believed that, like our kids would be fine. But back then that's what they believed and so it was an incredible sacrifice. He showed up whenever he could, he worked his ass off, my mom worked her ass off. So I started to not just have this idea like, I'm grateful for all the...
the challenges in my childhood because they gave me my greatest gifts. Because that's generally what happens, right? Those wounds and our perception about the lack, as we were talking about before we got on the podcast, are the things that turn into your superpower. And I became an achiever and I tried to earn love and do all these things and it created a lot of financial abundance for me. And so when I unlocked that last piece,
I got to keep all those gifts and love my dad and appreciate him and have such incredible gratitude for him that I can't see him another way. And the same thing with my mom. I started to understand and feel what an incredible warrior she is. And I'd never looked at her that way. We've always had a great relationship. It was always like a layer that I couldn't understand.
Speaker 2 (23:59.95)
And it was because I was still believing the story, whatever it was about her. Why did she stay with him? And he was not great to her. And why wasn't she standing up to him? And while she was protecting me the entire time, she was...
Speaker 2 (24:24.586)
really concerned. And so she stayed in it to protect me and my sister. It's like, holy shit.
does that? You know, and so I had this like, this personal like reconciliation and heart opening for both of them that allowed me to just love all of it and love that version of me. And so thanks for asking the question because I don't think I truly closed the loop until just now because I've thought about that.
that version of me. You know, and there's a picture of, you know, young me, John, you on my altar. And it's a reminder that he had hopes and dreams and he had challenges, but he, you know, I think he'd be pretty happy with how things have turned out.
That's why I think for you, it's not just about unlearning, but it's about rewriting. And I've heard you talk about that, where you're rewriting your narrative and rewriting your story, because I think of unlearning as almost like it could be synonymous of like, I'm just trying to get rid of this. Like, this isn't serving me in any way and I'm just wanting it, you know, out of sight, out of mind. Whereas rewriting is...
All right, let me take these plot points within my life and let me decipher them and let me reorganize them. So it's actually working for me and in my favor. I feel like that's where the healing comes in. And that's where like the alchemizing process comes in. And it can be much more powerful and cathartic. Cause you're like, wow, like look at what something I thought was holding me down. And now I just completely turned it around and now it's, you know, it's pushing me forward. And it's something that
Speaker 1 (26:15.726)
I've really enjoyed talking about and it's a part of me that I'm really proud of. the thing that I'm really interested
By the way, that's incredible that you brought that up because that is one piece that I forgot to add. mean, holy shit, I'm blown away by, yeah, the depth of research here. Because the key point in that, and you're absolutely right, I think this is where a lot of us miss the mark. And I was just in an integration circle where I shared this exact thing because there was someone who was struggling with something with his parents and how he was brought up.
They weren't able to see it the way he saw it. And what you're referring to is something called the time seed. And without getting into all the details about it, it's not enough to not believe the story of the eight-year-old. What is crucial is to rewrite the story of the eight-year-old. Because whatever story you believe is what you believe. And so what I did in that case with my dad as I went back and I wrote
all the reasons he loved me, all the ways he showed up. I mean, just, know, stream of consciousness and put all these thoughts down in a journal. And then actually I took all that. made a transcription and I put it in chat GPT and I said, put this in, you know, something that's a little bit like not poetic, but like in my language. Yeah. And it was like one of the most beautiful pieces ever. And
it up.
Speaker 2 (27:49.442)
That's the new version I choose to believe. And that's a huge piece and it's not difficult to do. And there are other steps if you really want to dig deep into what the time seat is, but it really can be as simple as taking a version that you believe that is no longer serving, and that's what I realized, it was no longer serving me to have this friction, this tension around my dad and rewriting it.
so I could fully love him. And there are other things that you can do this with. You can do it with your partner. You can do it with a conversation where someone hasn't gotten back to you and there's like little tension in emails and it's a business deal. And I did that recently and I just sat down and I wrote all the reasons why he hadn't gotten back to me and why he wrote what he wrote. And when we had the conversation, it was completely different.
How much of an impact did that have? I don't know, I know I showed up differently. That was probably the most important thing. So my energy was way different.
I want to bring the work component into that because I've heard you talk about how your dad had a huge impact on your work ethic from a different component though, not so much from the standpoint of, Hey, you know, Cal work hard because that's how you get ahead in life. But more so of like, you knew that if you worked hard, you could kind of keep your dad at bay or you could just have that level of detachment. So I want to talk about how that
unfolded later in your life, especially how you got into your career as a trader in Chicago. So I know those last couple of years when you were working in finance as a trader, you were emotionally detached, just didn't feel like that was the path for you anymore. But I'm curious because you did it for 18 years. What was that first 15 to 16 years like then? Did that feel like an aligned life and a good life for you?
Speaker 2 (29:51.628)
Yeah, I mean, it was the best career for me for a long time. I loved it. It fed my competitiveness. It actually tapped into my intuition, which I didn't realize until I started to realize when I started to do my own work. was like, bro, you're not tapping into this thing called intuition at all. You're so in your head.
And I started to realize that one of my greatest gifts as a trader was that sure, I could do the math like everybody else, but what separated me in some capacity was my ability to just know without having to figure out the numbers. And so for a long time, was, you in trading, are seasons where the trading's great and there are seasons where it's really slow, but largely for those 16 years,
I was really aligned with that work. I loved being able to show up and be present and be rewarded for it financially. And I happened to work in that industry. There's a mixed bag of characters and I happened to get hired by one of the most integrist men.
you know, on the trading floor. And his partner, you know, his, the first partner he brought on was similar. And then I was the third partner. And we had just an incredible group of mostly men that worked with us. And, you know, I would say I've been out of the business for 13 years, almost. And,
Eight to 10 of those guys are still my best friends. We talk all the time, we're super close. So it's really a credit to who he drew in and we drew in into that. But what had happened was...
Speaker 2 (31:55.406)
without knowing it, I was just being called into something different. my service here is not to be a trader and make money and provide for my family, you know, in that sense. And growing up, seeing my dad as that role model who worked his ass off so that he could provide for his family.
Not a lot of extras necessarily, but we didn't necessarily go without, but that was very much ingrained in me. And so as I got out of trading, I had that moment. And at that time I was getting into, as you know, fitness and wellness and nutrition and life coaching. I'm like, okay, this is more...
resonant to me. And so I spend a lot of my time just researching that stuff while I was, you know, I was on my iPhone doing it when there was no trading going on in the pen. I'm like, okay, something's got to give here. And I was reading a book, Way of a Superior Man by David Data. And there was one chapter in there that talked about like, basically, if you're working on a project, you're in a job and you could
leave the project unfinished and feel no kind of remorse about it. It's time to move on. And it's just like, I'm in a coffee shop fucking bawling my eyes. I was like, oh my God, I gotta leave trading. Like, what does that mean? you know, being the impulsive person I am, I went home and immediately was like, I told my wife, was like, I gotta leave trading. Unfortunately, I was met with an incredible amount of grace from her.
Not knowing what that meant for the family. She's like, if we've got to sell the house, it's okay. Like, I just want you to be happy. Wow. You know, it's like, no, it's not anything like that. It's like, just, I'm just showing up, not really showing up and feeling like a fraud at work. And that doesn't feel good. It's just, I need to move on. And I thought it was to be in the fitness space. And that was just a short bridge into kind of the work I do now, which is.
Speaker 2 (34:01.172)
my own personal work and then sharing it through the podcast and certain men's groups to hopefully, you know, awaken something in others, you know, and give them different kind of inlets into what that could look like for them. But along the way, man, it's like doing all that inner work, I was still very much tied to the provider, the financial provider. And it's been
it's been a process to extricate that identity and keep it kind of in its place. it's not, you know, it's not like you just put him to the side. It's like to really integrate him in a way where there's alignment with the rest of my parts. And so that's where I'm at right now. And I'm like, really feel like I'm at a threshold with that. Like literally like right now.
And there have been times when I've thought I've been at that threshold and it's been more from like a scarcity where I'm trying to like get rid of it. And I haven't, again, it's all up in the mind and I feel like that's the way, but I've been sitting with this, I feel like for about two years. And I feel like I finally, and I think that some of the ceremonies I've done,
in this past season have given me great clarity on what the last pieces are, the last chords for me to cut, and to really let go of my particular relationship to money, frankly, and what true abundance is, and really understanding time in a way.
that I've never understood it and really just starting to scratch the surface with that. So I won't even really get into that because I would not speak intelligently, but there have been people not surprisingly coming into my field that have a deep understanding of natural time versus this kind of artificial time, which we all find ourselves in. so, you know, it's interesting that I'm calling these people in to educate me in a way on this, just as I'm at this threshold, because I think that's an important
Speaker 2 (36:23.886)
of if I don't have this relationship with money, what am I gonna have a relationship with? It's like, maybe it's with time. Maybe if I have that devotion to natural time that I've had to money. And I say that, I don't think many people would look at me and say that, he's really into money. It's not like that. It's something that I keep, it's in there. It's fucking in there.
and I keep it at bay and I realize how much energy over the years I've used to suppress that urge of identifying, truly identifying with the financial success. And I've often thought recently, it's like, it would have been a lot easier energetically to just really be showing me, like, look at all I have. Because it takes so much energy to keep that at bay.
And so I'm not interested in keeping that at bay anymore. I'm interested in releasing that, thanking it for all the financial abundance and whatever it did to drive me to that, because it's created incredible opportunities and I've met some amazing people. And it's too much of an energetic suck on me right now. And so it's really interesting. And again, I hadn't even thought about that until today, like, that's...
this relationship needs to be replaced with natural time. And a brother who again, it came into my life within the last five weeks, is a deep student on natural time. And he just came down here to Austin this past weekend. And that wouldn't have happened had, and when you think about synchronicities, when you really start to look at where the threads are, I was at a,
a kind of a five day retreat with this brother. it was in the Austin area, so I wasn't staying at the retreat. I was kind of in and out. And I didn't connect with him until the last 30 minutes before he and I both left at the same time. If either one of us would have left 30 minutes earlier, he would have been down here this weekend. We wouldn't have had this beautiful ceremony. We wouldn't have had this beautiful conversation about natural time, which blew my mind.
Speaker 2 (38:50.496)
and all these other things. And so it's like, bro, you have no control over any of this. So just back away, take your hands off the wheel and just let it go. had a friend this weekend. He was riffing and he was talking about how he's like, yeah, you know, like when I put my hands on the blender, you know, and really squeeze it hard, it's like, do I really think it's going to make the blender blend better?
It's like, take your hands off the blender. And he was like riffing on this thing and I'm over here and I just a little bit of medicine like, bro, that's like, he's talking about life. Let fucking go. You've got your fucking white knuckling this thing. And I'm doing much better at that than I have, but like really like let go. Like, sir, can you surrender into this great experience?
and be curious about what's there for you. Yes, I don't even know if I answered the fucking question.
I can't even remember what the question was originally, but that-
I trading, it was fucking amazing. I was surrounded by amazing men and the work I'm doing now is really serving a lot of those men because they're coming along on this journey with me at whatever entry point resonates for them. And I'm here for that. And I love being able to do that. If you look at my human design, my astrology, my dream spell,
Speaker 2 (40:27.166)
any of these different systems, I'm like the, I'm the one that goes on, I'm like the tip of the spear, I fucking try everything. I go to the edge, I go over the edge sometimes, but I bring back the medicine and it's like, hey, this is what it's about. And then those who are called, you know, it's like they have safe passage. And I didn't necessarily understand that about myself until
you know, over the last couple of years and that is how I operate, you know? And it has its shadow side. There are times when I'm working with a plant or a substance or could be fitness. And it goes past that beautiful relationship where it goes into dependency.
I don't know that necessarily goes into addiction, but it goes into overuse, misuse, out of alignment. I always come back to center, but like I actually realize that I need, you know, at some point I'm gonna dip into that and what I've really tried to feel into this, in this season and really share. I've had a few conversations with friends who are kind of in a similar capacity. don't make that version of you wrong or bad.
It's part of you, just like John, the version before that I had, wasn't wrong. It's a part of me, you know? And so all these parts, and I have a friend who's like, loves to stay like focused and productive and like all the shit that we know.
Hands on the blender.
Speaker 2 (42:08.588)
Yes, right? And then, and he's got a tremendous amount of financial success and so he doesn't really work, but he volunteers and does all these things in those days where he doesn't volunteer. He can't sit still when he's gotta do these things and he makes that version of him wrong because it's not as energized and enthusiastic and creating wealth or showing up in these ways.
reminded him that, you know, again, one of these hermetic laws is the law of rhythm. so you can't be on all the time. At some point, you've got to be off. We know through just basic training. You know, I've done the thing when I first got into CrossFit, where I worked out six days a week. I didn't know any better. It fucking burned me out. I started to learn that I needed recovery.
And even within the timeframe of a week, you you need recovery. then within cycles of months over the, like, and so our life needs that too. And relationships need that. You you run hot with someone for a while, some buddies, whatever, sometimes you need a break. It's not cause you don't love them. It's cause it just needs like this, this whole ebb and flow. And, and so just like, you know, I mean, great relationship with whatever the, you know, fill in the blank.
Sometimes it goes into over consumption and it's like, that's okay. Like come back to center, let go of that relationship for a while. And then when the time is right, when you feel called, go back into it and see what happens. And if it gets into overuse again, well, just come back and just be careful with what you're using. I tried to be pretty discerning about those things.
But I'm fortunate, I had a friend of mine say the other day, goes, dude, I don't know how you do it, like you fucking quit anything cold turkey. It's like, it's not any, like, don't even give me credit for it, it's just, guess, how I'm wired. You know, it's not like I have more mental capacity than you do to just like, my body is different. And so, I appreciate the praise, but I don't even think I deserve it, it's just how I am. I'm grateful for it because it allows me, maybe that's it, it allows me to test the boundaries.
Speaker 2 (44:28.49)
and come back not super fucked up. So it's interesting as I think again, so much this like, I'm gonna take a transcription of this fucking podcast, because there's so many things I'm just working out in real time. So I'm so grateful for this.
What I find so interesting about your training career and it's something that you said earlier about how you weren't a math guy. was just like intuition, you know, living within your gut and your heart rather than your head. And why I find that so cool is like, so what made you a great trader is the same exact thing that showed you, okay, I have to leave trading. And so you have this conscious awareness of.
All right, like I want a new life basically. But that doesn't really shift until an unwilling experience for you when you're in Vegas. Can you talk more about that?
Absolutely. And yeah, it's a great point. Not surprisingly, I hadn't thought about that because, you know, one of the things again in these different, in the astrology, my intuition is super strong and I get fucked up sometimes when I need to like think of why I didn't explain why. And I'm not meant to explain why, I just know.
Yeah
Speaker 2 (45:58.486)
And a lot of people are like, why are you leaving trading? And you probably already know this, but for those who haven't done as deep a research.
It would have been harder for me to stay because of how I felt about myself. But at the same time, my intuition said you just need to leave. And there could have been, if I didn't have a strong intuition, there could have been a million reasons to stay.
Do you feel like though, because you had that tangible concrete understanding at the time of like, I'm going into the health and wellness scene, potentially I'm starting a gym, it made it easier for you and explaining that to people? Or do you think like, even if you didn't have something like that, you would have been able to, I guess, cut cold turkey, like you were saying?
I think it was a great point. It made it easier for me to make it out of my mind. Like I'm really a lot more interested in this stuff. Other people, they're like, you're gonna go from this career where can make a lot of money to like opening a gym, which we think it would be successful, but it's still really hard to fucking make money. So that didn't maybe land for a lot of people, but that was the path. And yeah.
It just felt like an energetic, like, I'm so alive when I'm doing all those things that it just made a lot of sense. And I had a great coach at the time who was able to kind of open me up in a beautiful way into like what the feeling is. Ryan came a little bit later, which was really a lot of deep work, but James Fitzgerald. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:36.306)
the winner of the first CrossFit Games, I think in 2007. And so...
Yeah, fast forward. So again, intuition hadn't come into my awareness at this point, right? But I was, as you pointed out, was guided by it to leap trading. But in 2017, October 1st, I was in Las Vegas at the mass shooting, as you know. And in that moment of being there at the concert,
and huddled behind a bus with my friend who I was at the cost with, Adam Burrish. was like everything that I thought was important was not there to save me at that point. It was like a true surrender of everything. It's like there's nothing I can do. I don't know what the scenario is. I don't know if there's a bunch of gunmen.
didn't know, know, there wasn't fear. It was like something very primal takes over. And, you know, there happened to be someone who kind of took over like as leader of our, you know, kind of cohort. And I just listened and wasn't afraid. was just everything gets just like locked in.
But I think what you're referring to is like when I left that experience, it awoken something in me. And it's like, okay. In some ways, been living a lie. And when I was in the actual experience, I just had this deep sadness of if this is it, and I wasn't sad about losing my life,
Speaker 1 (49:13.89)
You
Speaker 2 (49:32.822)
I was sad about the life I had lived.
Speaker 2 (49:40.246)
I knew it wasn't mine, it was here. And I think anybody who would have looked at my life from the outside would have been like, what are you talking about? You've got an amazing wife, you have these kids, you've had incredible experiences, you have all this financial abundance, you do this, you do that.
That's not it. It was very clear to me in that moment and it took me like a year and a half to unpack that that's what happened in that moment. And it was through, you know, two days later, well, it was actually a day after I got home. I got home the next day and then on that Tuesday, I got together with a group of people to do NAD IV therapy and one of those guys was a guy named Kyle Kingsbury.
And Kyle had been deep in plant medicine work and consciousness and fasting and fucking aliens and ancient civilizations and like you name it, he was into it. Podcasts, books, YouTube videos and you know, for eight days I would go down and do like a two hour IV drip and just get these, you know, I would just listen, ask questions and listen and go back, you know, take notes and watch these videos, listen to the podcast.
and just opened me up to like, okay, this is way different than anything I've ever known about. Went on a few plant medicine experiences with psilocybin mostly, and then a year and a half later was at a silent retreat. And when the spiritual leader Ajay Shantey was giving some of his transmissions, it just dawned on me that, this whole thing has been about me trying to figure out why the fuck I'm here. Because I found out in that moment that it wasn't
what I thought it wasn't what a lot of us are told. And I say that.
Speaker 2 (51:36.938)
not saying don't try to go for the thing that I went for. I think that's part of finding out who we are. I think absolutely. I wouldn't be who I am. I wouldn't have a deep understanding of what that means without experiencing that. So I think experience again, try it all to play both ends, do the opposite, however you wanna, you know, kind of articulate it. It's all the same thing.
What I'm here to say is that when you've done that, and if when you've done that, you feel like you've had a similar experience to me, here's some things I've done to explore what else is out there. And that's really what the podcast is about, right? It came out a couple years later, but I started to meet people that I would have never met.
necessarily beforehand because I was way open to it and people that didn't look like me didn't grow up like me and grew up in different countries and came from the jungle and musicians and artists and people with fucking long hair and just like piercings and
And these are my brothers and I want to share my experience, not just my experience through them, but their experience and let them share their medicine to the podcast and open people up to like, look, y'all know who I was when you knew me before Austin, let's say. This is, you know, what can happen when you're open to
Not knowing. Yeah, I think that's the key is just like understanding. I don't fucking know anything until I have a direct experience with it. And then even that changes from depending on what, you know, when I have the experience. And so I encourage like just like curiosity, have the experience. And I don't say that lightly either. Like just know what the experience has meant for you. And like I said, plant medicines and different things aren't for everybody.
Speaker 2 (53:48.046)
But if you feel called to something, make sure it's done with proper facilitation and guidance and setting and all that. And so yeah, I don't wanna just say, yeah, fucking try everything like me. Like no, just know who you are and how you're meant to experience the world. I know to push the edges a bit, Kyle pushes them a little further. So I know where Kyle goes. I go just a little shorter there. He's my brawn.
I guess you could say like natural medicine or my plant medicine to like put a more metaphorical sense on it was like was unwilling pain and like unwilling suffering and that's why I have like a natural curiosity for that type of stuff and ask you about that and that stems from a lot of conversations I have where like I'm always trying to find I think something like what is something that's happened in this person's life that they didn't willingly take on.
Like something that like came into their life unwillingly because from my experience and my beliefs, like that unwilling pain or that unwilling moment for you was the real launching pad. so like for the previous four years, like you had the conscious awareness of like, like there's something more here. Like I'm supposed to be going somewhere else, but like you didn't get to.
root of it. Like it's almost like you couldn't do it on your own and you needed something against your will to like just in the split of a moment, just like so much clarity. And I don't think that's just like, like we've been talking about. It's not just like a new way of thinking, a new way of acting, but like you just feel it like on a deep physiological level. Um, and that's why I'm interested in your work with Brian about how
You know, like that was a lot of deep physiological work and healing work. And I would say like that basic experience was the catalyst for you then being able to take that on. And I find it really interesting how you've talked about how that entire process was like physically and literally softening because like you weren't training. So you were losing a lot of muscle, but like that physical softening just led to an entire softening of your being. Can you talk more about that?
Speaker 2 (56:14.702)
Yeah, and just, it's interesting too, because I went through this fall where I was feeling pretty robust and vital and I was just doing a lot of weight training. And I put on a decent amount of weight where at the top I was like 205. Yeah, like 205. And this was like January. I would go to this place, Matter here in town. And every now and then I do the in-body. I kind of, among other things, they do track your weight. And I hadn't...
really looked until...
I March? And I kind of come off of training like right after in January for a couple of reasons. But I just was feeling a call, again, a soul call to just back away. And I was working with some other kind of modalities and I literally lost almost 30 pounds of muscle, mostly muscle I guess, but 30 pounds.
So I had weighed myself, I think in like late March and I was like 178. And I'm probably 185 right now. But that was part of another huge awakening for me. Like the biggest awakening I've had, would say, started in early February. And like, it just needed to happen because I needed to get out of like this.
so much structure in the training and I still had a bit of an attachment to that, looser than the past, good relationship with it. I was still anchored very much in the body in a different way than the heart, I would say. And so as I started to go into this, I just started to eat a lot less, I was eating really clean.
Speaker 2 (58:12.846)
But I wasn't training so I didn't need to eat as much and this just happened that the weight just came off and every now and then I'd be like, has, know, shit's fit, know, fitting a little different. But I would look in the mirror and I was like, I feel like this is, you know, like this is how I meant to look. Like I felt, you know, for lack of a better, like I like the way I look still.
And I wasn't as enamored with the big muscles. And when that thought would come in, like, you know, it is one of your identities to be, you know, the fit guy at whatever your age is. And it's like, okay, that's other people's projections. That's me needing external validation. I feel really healthy. I feel really light. I'm not carrying extra weight emotionally.
And I was just letting go of a lot. And so I felt like it was very just metaphorical for what I was going through in that season. And so, yeah, I think that has been, you know, the softening, weight training and all that stuff can be really amazing. And I may in the fall, I'll start training again hard. I don't know.
I'm just following the rhythm of what my body wants. And I have noticed that when I have physically softened, when I haven't, when I've been a warrior in the gym, so to speak, you not to overuse that term, but when I've been a warrior in the gym, I had a hard time putting the armor down, leaving it in the gym. And I would bring it into my life. And, you know, I suppose my family would feel that energetically in some way.
And so when that's not, know, it'd be interesting to see, you know, now what I've gone through, like when I get back into training, because I really haven't trained, like literally since the hockey game, I still haven't trained. wow. So it's been like three, at least three months, I've probably worked out once or twice. Wow. You know, and so it's like, I don't necessarily love that, because I think it's really good for my body to get the movement and the blood flow, but it's where I'm at right now. And...
Speaker 2 (01:00:33.922)
You know, when I get back into some sort of rhythm with that, you know, will I be able to kind of thread the needle and leave the armor there? And so I'm curious about that. And again, if I'm not able to, hopefully I don't make that version of me bad. It's just informative to me. Maybe I need to find a new practice because I really want to have that. I mean, I'll put the armor on when I want to, when I need to. I don't want to be walking around with it. I've done that my entire life.
You know, and so what would it mean? You know, and I had the hit while I was sitting in ceremony. You know, you sit in cross-legged position and I don't have much mobility. It's like, fuck, I look around and these guys are looking at these amazing yoga poses sitting there and I'm fucking trying to get comfortable and it's taken away from the experience a little bit. like, maybe that's it. Because those motherfuckers who do yoga are pretty soft.
you know, in a beautiful way. So maybe that's what this whole thing is showing me. Again, thanks for the awareness. Like maybe it is really time to go into that version so that these other practices that have been really instrumental and transformational for me, you know, in awakening, they can go even deeper because my body can physically handle it, you know, and then, you know, I can really lean in.
That language really resonates with me about the physical softening. And I didn't have that language to be able to put towards my own experience, but it, like I said, resonates on a deep level because, so from my perspective, like I've said, I'm big into working out and I developed like a lot of bad chronic pain a few years back and didn't work out for.
150 days straight, just didn't step foot in the gym and that softening, like depletion effect was happening. And it had that greater effect though, where I like, learned, I can live without the gym. Like I can live without working out and I can find stimulation in other areas of my life where it's like, like I was saying, I can get intellectually stimulated rather than just.
Speaker 1 (01:02:58.166)
working out in the gym and that goes back to that unwilling component because I would have never done that on my own. Like something had to happen for me to be forced into that. I'm curious to know for you, because you talk a lot about unlearning, rewriting, what do you think something within your life that you've never had to do that for though, that you've just always held with you that you think has served you?
Before I get into that, I just love that point you brought up.
Speaker 2 (01:03:36.098)
I've said it plenty in the past. I know a lot of my friends say it.
I'm not right unless I get my workout. There's like this is obsessive thing. It's like I need to, and it's like, you your experience taught you that you're gonna be okay without the gym. So it becomes, when you're called to it, or more of a hobby, or more of like additive to your life versus that need, the idea of need means you don't have it, right? And so it creates that.
And becomes that much more dangerous with things that we see in a positive nature. Like, like working out, running. Like if I became, you know, an alcoholic or, you know, drug addict, it's much easier to cite that on the surface and be like, like what's going on here? Somebody's going to the gym, you know, five to six days a week and getting a lot stronger. If you're running 20 to 30 miles each week, you're like, wow, like that's really impressive. That's really disciplined, but it's like,
Well, like let's strip the surface away from that. what's actually going on. And it becomes that much harder with those types of positive personal development types.
Exactly, it's like the fucking wolf in sheep's clothing. It's again, we're not putting it on the same level as alcoholism, but it's still in my experience and it sounds like yours too. I don't want to speak for you, but it's an unhealthy relationship. And we do need those things to come into our lives.
Speaker 2 (01:05:11.544)
You know, we've had some things within our family that I would have never wanted to have happen to our family ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. And it was the only thing that would have woke us up to what it needed to wake us up to. And it's fucking, you just would never want it for anyone and it happens and.
grateful for it in retrospect, but those are opportunities and it's, you know, they're knocks at the door. They're knocks at the door until they break the door down because we're not listening. And in all these cases, as you said, from 13 to 2017, like I knew I wasn't.
I knew my relationship with money was changing because I wasn't obsessed with it, but I still had a long way to go and I didn't know how to do it. And it's, it's taken me until really quite recently. And that's eight years almost past Las Vegas to really make a major shift. And there's still a lot more work to do. And that's the other part. It's like, this is just a journey. There's no end point for my relationship with money to be pure.
It's ongoing and it'll circle back probably into an earlier version and hopefully I'll have awareness around it. But yeah, I just think that's such an important element that it's hard to see it when it's happening. You know, it's really hard. If you can, what a fucking gift, because then you can just surrender to it. You're just like, I know this is happening for me. I don't know why, but I'm here for it.
But oftentimes it's after the fact. like, that was meant to change this relationship. And then five years later, you're it changed this relationship too. And that is like, it's just starts to continue to reveal itself. But back to the question, and thankfully I did remember it, like what is something in my life that I just kind of has always been there for me, has always served me?
Speaker 2 (01:07:18.508)
I'd have to say, like, it's my ability to...
Speaker 2 (01:07:25.134)
Like kind of in some ways like make shit happen like to manifest, I don't know, manifest is the right word or just to live in abundance or gather resources. Like again, I go back to just like being a kid who grew up in a small town in Maine, going to a boarding school, which wasn't really common. And it wasn't because my parents were rich, it's because I wanted to play an extra year of hockey, get an extra year of high school in before I went to college.
And so that's not a common path. And then at the time, Amherst was the number one liberal arts college in the country. It's like, how the fuck did I get there? It wasn't like I was a big hockey recruit. My grades were good enough and I got a little nudge from hockey. Would I have gotten in without hockey? Probably not. But it wasn't like I was their star goaltender coming in. And so, how the fuck did that happen? And then...
I go through 10 interviews on campus of different investment banks and consulting jobs, which was a huge haul. Like none of the hockey guys had barely any. I got like maybe nine or 10 and they would have second round interviews on campus the next day. I got no second round interviews. So I was a complete fucking joke, unprepared, didn't know what. But had I been prepared for any of those and gotten one of those jobs, I wouldn't have landed
the job that I ended up getting. And the only reason that my eventual partner, Will, came to Amherst was because my buddy who I played hockey with, his girlfriend's sister went to Wesleyan with Will's wife years ago. So he was gonna go to Wesleyan and then swing by Amherst and my buddy Cam was just picking up resumes from his hockey and football buddies. And I was the guy who got hired.
You know, and it's like, I was just able to like, kind of against the, like how, like it doesn't make-
Speaker 1 (01:09:26.35)
That's crazier than Joe Rogan.
And then I happened to be really good at trading. And again, not because I was a math whiz, but because I was competitive and I was able to turn on intuition and I could have big balls in areas where it wasn't like I was just taking a bunch of risk. Like I just had a sense about it. I lost plenty of money, don't get me wrong, but like was considered, you know, is certainly one of the better traders. And so all of this, and then, you know, wherever I've gone, like,
I've just drawn in amazing people and in this past season, whether it's the ceremonies I've sat in, the facilitation has been 10 of 10. Where I just sit there like, it is such a privilege to sit in this ceremony with this guidance. I just feel like I draw, when I get out of my head and when I just
allow for the universe to do its work, I draw in just amazing resources. And again, it could be people, it could be literal resources, financial resources, but it's always happened quite naturally for me. And so a lot of times I just need to get out of the way. And it's hard because the mind can trick you into thinking that you're fucking pretty smart and you made these things happen. And it's like...
Yeah, you can do some thinking and your intelligence does play a part, but largely it's an energetic thing. you know, I mean, at least that's been my experience. And so the more I can, again, use the mind as a servant and not a master and not a let it be the master, a lot of seemingly kind of miracles happen in my life. And so I just try to remind myself of that. You know, often when I'm sitting down at the altar in prayer, it's like,
Speaker 2 (01:11:26.584)
Take your hands off the wheel, let the mind be in the passenger seat. Speak when spoken to, that whole thing. I've really been working on that relationship and it's the fucking challenge for sure.
Yeah, like the going back to that analogy earlier, just take your hands off the blunder. Yes. Come on. Cal, it's been awesome talking to you. Like I said, first in person one that I've done and no one else I'd rather want in that chair. So I really appreciate it.
I mean, I had no idea what to expect, because you never know when you sit down, but this was, I mean, such an incredible therapy session for me. And like really, I've been in this season and I was telling my wife today, like she was looking for me when she got up and I was doing a meditation with headphones on and an eye mask, which I do occasionally, but I just hadn't done it in the morning in months. And she's like, I see, I'm just trying to like integrate.
been through a lot lately, ceremony, a lot of things moving in our personal lives in a very beautiful way, but I feel like I'm at this threshold and I'm just trying to make sense of it. And as I it was really helpful in like...
Speaker 2 (01:12:48.098)
I'm sure that helped prep me for this, but this was like really getting me closer to really be able to step through that threshold. I really just, I mean, I'm so grateful to be able to work out so much in real time. and, know, hopefully it was useful. And if not, I'm sorry to the listeners, but it was fucking amazing for me and you, as we were talking about before, like what it, you know, like what we feel like takes to be.
a great podcast host like, your presence. love the way you shut your computer like it.
I didn't look at it once. That's the thing. I took it as a sign as well. Like as soon as the conversation started, my screen saver just went on. Yeah. And so like I didn't even look at it once. the sign.
And you have been so in the pocket since I walked in the door that for someone who hasn't really been, you've only done this one in person, like it's a whole different energy being in person, as you know now, right? But brother, you've got an amazing career ahead of you in this space. I hope you choose to continue it as long as, you know, as well as the other things you're doing, but.
It's a real gift in what you're able to really create the safety. And we talked about that before we started, that is, for me, that's everything. Because that's where the magic is. And then you just let the conversation go where it's going. it didn't feel like it was, to me, didn't feel like it was all over the place. we went, there were no threads that were.
Speaker 2 (01:14:27.948)
I mean, sure, we have a callback every now and then, but it was this beautiful weaving from one leg to the next.
And I don't think you can do that as well in a virtual environment. Like I've done one other in-person podcast, it was me as the guest, and you just can't create that same environment virtually. Cal, where can people go to connect with you and see more of your work?
Yeah, thank you. Instagram is probably the, was really the only social that I'm active on. was just cal.calahan. And then thegreatunlearn.com has certainly all our episodes and like our shop and some fun discount codes. And then I'm launching a venture studio and fun with my partner Ty Ward called Unlearn Ventures. And so that's on there as well on the web.
Awesome. Yeah.
could have talked to you for probably another two or three hours. Hell yeah, brother. I'll just have to do it again at some I'd love.
Speaker 2 (01:15:31.854)
Yeah, thanks so much. It's been amazing. Hell yeah.
