Outworker
Stories of healing, personal development, and inner work. Founded on the idea that the relationship with self is the most important to develop, but the easiest to neglect, Outworker shares conversations aimed at helping you develop that relationship.
Outworker
#080 - Ed Latimore - Escaping The Projects & Rebuilding A Life Without Alcohol
Ed Latimore explains how growing up in the projects shaped his instincts for survival, how getting out of his zip code showed him what was actually possible in life, and how losing himself in alcohol forced a complete reinvention. He talks about the turning point of joining the army, rebuilding discipline from scratch, and how pursuing a professional boxing career taught him to commit to something fully for the first time. This is about escaping the default path—and what it actually takes to build yourself from the ground up.
Timestamps:
00:00 Living Multiple Lives
12:06 Growing Up Without A Father
13:29 Being Exposed To A Different Environment
17:36 Becoming A Boxer
20:25 Boxing Leading To Alcoholism
23:01 Joining The Army
25:21 Getting Sober
27:49 A Course In Miracles
30:44 Becoming A Writer
37:47 Developing Your Voice
39:42 Becoming A Father
44:21 What Has Always Served Ed
45:41 Surveying The Current Landscape
47:37 Connect With Ed Latimore
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What’s up outworkers. Ed Latimore explains how growing up in the projects shaped his instincts for survival, how getting out of his zip code showed him what was actually possible in life, and how losing himself in alcohol forced a complete reinvention. He talks about the turning point of joining the army, rebuilding discipline from scratch, and how pursuing a professional boxing career taught him to commit to something fully for the first time. This is about escaping the default path—and what it actually takes to build yourself from the ground up.
Tim Doyle (00:09.068)
You've lived a few different lives, boxer, soldier, writer, father. If someone met you for the first time today, how would you describe yourself to them?
Ed Latimore (00:19.994)
You know, I'm just just a guy trying to make the most out of my my short time on this planet is Yeah, that's really the best way to say it I know that Getting the most out of your time is really a combination of two activities to meta activities to met odd is one you have to be pursuing things and in that pursuit those should be like
Challenging they should force you to change and grow if they don't them like they're they're not they're not worthy goals I'm not saying they need to be like world-beater goals. They don't need to be anything Insane are insanely impressive, but they need to force you to grow evolve and learn things and the other thing they often I won't say often but but it doesn't get as much attention. I think is I'm also always trying to
to purify the weak parts of me, get rid of the parts of me that are going to lead to my downfall. If you can't do that, then you're going to be in a very rough position. Because all your success can be undone with a night of heavy drinking. And it'll be like, okay, well, good luck there. In fact, I'd say just kind of on this note to put a nice bow on it.
It's more important to avoid stupidity than it is to seek greatness because as long as you avoid stupidity, you're always in a position to go after something great no matter how old you get. Like you could turn 50 and have done nothing, but as long as you haven't like got a serious criminal charge or something, you're going to be in pretty good. And even then you can, it's just going to be infinitely more difficult.
But if you're like in prison, can't you know, But yeah, that that's what I would say, know someone I mean now I'm just just a person trying to get the most out of life and that's kind of my philosophy for doing so
Tim Doyle (02:25.422)
So do you think, especially when you were younger, do you think you were more motivated by trying to get as far as way as possible from who you didn't want to be rather than trying to get closer to who you did want to become?
Ed Latimore (02:39.95)
Yeah, that's all you can do. Or at least that's all I was trying to do. I didn't like the environment I grew up in or anything like that. I just was coming up. And that's all.
Ed Latimore (02:55.832)
Yeah, I would say that guided a lot of my decisions and a lot of my outcomes. It is just trying to not be something. Now eventually you have to switch and you have to try and become something. But at first it was very much about not becoming someone. That was very important to me.
Tim Doyle (03:13.73)
Why do you think, especially when you were a young kid growing up in the projects of Pittsburgh, why do you think that you didn't get pulled into a life that I guess people would see it and not be shocked if you did get pulled into that type of life?
Ed Latimore (03:29.434)
luck I mean there's So actually, you know the more I think about it the more the more credit I give luck. I Need to write this down. No, no, I'm just I say that because I'm working on I don't know if you're familiar with my YouTube channel or not, but I Took a took a pretty big hiatus from my YouTube channel and then going forward now that I have I have a new book coming out our new book out I should say
Tim Doyle (03:41.997)
haha
Ed Latimore (03:58.87)
I'm going to continue to use my YouTube channel and then and they Make it a podcast as well and continue to have outreach and then there are topics that I want to discuss and this is a really important one that I think people don't don't give nearly enough discussion to but With that said I don't think I'll forget but I know where my notebook is Look and and the more I think about it there's more luck
involved then even I probably gave credit for because because when we think about luck a lot of times what we think about is Kind of what we immediately benefit from or Don't benefit from or rather are not you know are suffer from you know you dodge the bullet or you get lucky it's kind of how we look at it and no one says you got lucky when we talk about Good when we talk about like bad outcomes
But that's luck too. But in terms of my situation and my luck, in terms of the things that I had no control over, I didn't have control over where I was born. And that might sound crazy to say in this context because I was born and raised in a fairly degenerate, violent, destitute housing project. But there are worse projects.
There were worse times to be born in the projects. I was born in the 80s. And while the 80s were pretty bad, the early 90s and 80s, mean, maybe it wasn't the worst time. Maybe it was. I don't know. But I know that I got a friend, or I had a friend, I guess, when I was a little kid. And I watched him get killed when I was like...
I must have been, I know how my sister wasn't walking in, so I couldn't have been any older than four. And I watched this kid get killed. And the only reason why I didn't get killed is because I didn't cross the street. So, It's not like I'm three, I'm like three, three, four, know, let's look. Who my mom was, and I didn't, you know, I criticized my mom a lot. Because, you know, I think it's all rightfully due.
Ed Latimore (06:21.621)
I think the only reason why anybody ever gave me kickback about it, which would be my mama and sometimes my sister, is because, you know, they're too close to it. As my sister has gotten farther away from it, especially with my mom passing, she's a little more understanding. But from my mom's flaws, she did some things correct intentionally. Like she was really big on books in the house.
She read, like she, my mom always read them fiction books. Like she was a big Stephen King person. And I can't remember the guy who wrote the name of the, who wrote the book, but I know he's prolific. His name is Owen Meany. I mean, the name of the book is a prayer for Owen Meany. I can't remember the author of the book, but I know that guy's prolific. I know that she read a lot of VC Andrews. So like a lot of fiction.
And they've got studies out. showed it like one of the biggest indicators of academic success in your life, which translates into other success, is going to be books in the house.
Now, you know, my mom made sure we could read pretty early.
It was a good trait. But the other thing my mom did that was was terrible on him and I'm undoing the Undoing the effects of that as an adult, you know I was afraid to get in trouble because I didn't want to get get my ass kicked by the time I was big enough to like stand up myself I had already I had already started a transition into another life Where that wasn't an issue? So so there's those combinations of things
Ed Latimore (08:12.058)
You know, even down to how I look, I personally at this moment in my life don't think I'm a bad looking guy. I don't think I'm going to be gracing any GQs, but I don't think my looks work against me. Where I'm going with this is that when I was growing up, I was teased a lot for how I look. And that made me not want to associate with a lot of people. Made me want to stay away.
My mom was also real big in the light. She, she, I had to like fight with my mom to play football in high school. She didn't want me playing sports because she thought it would just be me fulfilling another stereotype about, about black kids. So there's all this stuff that they all together more or less keeps me out of the worst trouble, not all the trouble, but the worst trouble. And then that made a big, big difference. You know,
It's a lot. I had to have control over a lot of stuff before I was 14. But that's what it comes down to. Look, and I wish there was a better answer. But what you got to remember is the two most important things for a person's success in life. They have no control over them. And those are in this order, by the way, too.
where they live, the zip code, and their parents.
because ultimately as you get older, you don't have, you spend more, you spend like all your time with your children when they're little. Like right now there's somebody with my son and my wife with my son and then I'll be out there with my son. We're always with them. But that, but you know, right now our time with them is like 95%.
Ed Latimore (10:14.233)
When he was born, it was like 100. And that's probably higher than 95. He goes to his little school twice a week for three hours. And my sister will come and hang out with him more sometimes. But as they get older, eventually that shifts as they get friends. And your friends, the quality of your friends, they're going to be determined by the zip code you live in. So that's important. And you eventually end up spending all of your time with them. And you want to fit in. That's where a lot of the...
the stuff comes and then your family the values you get imparted with I don't so I don't have control over any of that and that stuff makes makes such a big difference
Tim Doyle (10:54.862)
to talk about both of those factors and starting with the parents. So when you were a kid, you didn't have an older male figure to look up to like a father. How do you think that forced you to be more introspective and look inward?
Ed Latimore (11:12.439)
No, it didn't. So because we are young, you don't realize what you don't even have for real. I didn't even realize. And then when you do realize it, you don't even realize what you're missing or rather how you're affected by it. You have no idea. Not until you get older. And if you do some work and you start to learn about these things. So it's not like it's not like I grew up thinking that, OK, here's how all this is going to work.
Like no, had no idea. It's no introspection. I'm just just figuring out life man. I'm doing the best I can and You know or I was doing the best I could is a better way to say that so some past hits Well, I mean because I'm still doing the best I can but but now I'm I'm highly aware of the effects of it and then how I unintentionally would about You know filling that gap and fortunately for me that gap got filled
positively or a little late so it ended up working out well.
Tim Doyle (12:18.274)
And then the other factor, the zip code for success. So you, like we said, you grew up in the projects of Pittsburgh, but you won a lottery to go to a different high school. How did literally expanding your horizons and exposing yourself to a completely different world, how did that change you?
Ed Latimore (12:40.153)
Well, you just said it it expanded my horizons and showed me a different way to live I see something different, you know, because because if you grow up and all, know is one thing then That that's what you know, right then and you move accordingly eventually that reality and the habits you have they come into club they come into contact with the bigger reality and
you know, some people don't adapt, some people do. Most, most don't.
But because of that I was in a position to do well. I won't say do well, but survive. I started early, I meet different people and it changes how things go.
Tim Doyle (13:31.662)
So for someone like yourself who had, it seems like a conscious awareness of, okay, I don't like, or the environment that I'm in isn't serving me to my highest potential. When you are in high school and you are struggling academically, why do you think you were struggling there? Did it feel like it just wasn't an environment for you or were there other factors?
Ed Latimore (13:59.992)
Nah, you know, well, I'd say the biggest, I mean, it's hard to say which one is bigger, but I knew the two factors I was constantly dealing with. One, because of the schools I went to before, I didn't have a strong base of how to learn, how to study, how to focus, and then that how to study thing, because I never seen anyone else in my life, you know, really focus on anything.
Long-term, I had no idea how to go about Doing these things now as I watch my friends in this new school pick it up I was like, okay, this makes sense. You you said you learn but My commute
Oh to and from school every day was a total of two hours one hour there one hour back So I'm already losing that time I don't want to go home So I play sports and I get a job. So I don't even have the time to study. Don't have time to study. I don't have time to focus on things Really surviving by the by the skin of my teeth and and and didn't really survive, you know, I didn't actually graduate high school
Lot of my friends don't don't know that as I explained to them it not only because I've written about it the book it uh It comes out a lot better, but all right comes out a lot better. They're like, no kidding. Yeah, that was uh, that was a thing but If that doesn't go anywhere I won't say if that doesn't go anywhere
Because that didn't go anywhere, those were two big challenges for me in school. And then the score I to, the rigor was up there. But I didn't have the circumstances to really do well.
Tim Doyle (15:55.983)
Interesting. And then when you went off to college, you say you had zero confidence in your capabilities to learn. So mean, when you went to college, how did it feel like you were already playing from behind?
Ed Latimore (16:15.144)
because I had zero confidence in my abilities to learn. That's straight up how it was. You don't go through that environment and then, you know, you do poorly in school and then you don't and then you don't have the tools to recover. You don't know how you don't know how to focus is the same thing.
Tim Doyle (16:38.498)
that ultimately leads you to dropping out of college and that becomes the birth for the next chapter of your life, which is, I guess, where you really get your start, which is your boxing career. What amount of time was it with your boxing where it went from like, all right, let me give this a shot to, hey, like, I'm pretty good at this and I can do something with this.
Ed Latimore (17:04.314)
that's probably the wrong question to ask because you know, like I went into it. I went into it with like, in my opinion, the best intentions. was I'm going to stick with this until I can't do it anymore. And so and so I did. I just just kept training and kept getting better.
You know as far as how long that took I mean I feel like I'm still getting you know better but in terms of like What in terms like what helped me or rather how long it took them to move forward
But it's hard to think of it that way. is just because each level has got a different level. Right. You know, I beat the local gods and then I get to a national stage and then I start fighting only nationally ranked fighters after, you know, in the top 10 ish for the last year. And then you go pro and then it starts all over again. It's it's
It's an interesting process. It you just you stay with it. There's Now now do I think that a person should should enter the the sport with the idea that You know there there's a kind of a stop point I don't know about a stop point, but I say you know give it give it a year before you know if you like it or not I probably
did not, in fact I know I didn't follow that advice. But I guess I did because if I really disliked it and really hated it, I would have stopped that for a year.
Tim Doyle (18:53.966)
That's interesting. I feel like what I'm hearing is like the mindset was you weren't even focused on like, hey, I'm pretty good at this. It was kind of just more so short term, just following the process day by day and seeing where it was going to go rather than stepping out of that or detaching, be like, hey, I'm pretty good. Just being so fully engrossed in the process.
Ed Latimore (19:08.119)
Yeah.
Ed Latimore (19:16.313)
I happened to applaud myself to boxing for the first time and and and Then the doors that's opened up. It's really interesting. But yeah
Tim Doyle (19:28.728)
Boxing is obviously a very physically demanding sport, but what I find so interesting about your experience with boxing is it seems like it didn't just take a toll on your body inside the ring, but more so your life outside the ring. Can you talk to me more about the struggles of living in Los Angeles when you were part of the All-American Heavyweight Program?
Ed Latimore (19:54.228)
I mean the struggles man look the cool thing about that that program is they they paid me they paid for my apartment if it wasn't for that program actually that part that program saved me twice the first time immediately when when I was like wondering where I live or pay rent in the apartment that I was about to lose
And then the second time, I was smart and used the money they were paying me to pay down my debt and get a car, when I left the program, I was able to drive home. And I had a car to get back and forth to the gym and everything like that. So I ended up working out pretty well. But as far as being there, I was lonely. I didn't really know anybody, anybody who's ever lived in LA.
or been to LA knows, you know, when I went out there, I didn't have a car. I didn't have a car for most of my time out there. So I was, I was pretty damn lonely. And yeah. And then on top of that, you know, I went out there drinking and it was, I live in PA, which is one of the two states where the state regulates the sale of liquor. Most people don't understand.
because most people don't live in Pennsylvania or Utah, that I can't just go to Target or Walmart and buy a bottle of liquor. You can do that in other states. In PA, where I grew up, you cannot do that. You get to Cali where you can. So it was real easy to get, to make my life all about drinking. I lived right across the street from a Target. And even if I did, you could go to the gas station, you know? So I found a way to always get some alcohol.
Tim Doyle (21:42.542)
So how long were you living in LA where it felt like your relationship with alcohol really took a turn for the worse?
Ed Latimore (21:51.224)
Whole top. Well, I was out there for like almost two years. Me probably got like the worst after the first. When did I win that?
Probably, you know, probably after the first like six or seven months. I'm not sure.
Tim Doyle (22:15.054)
What I find interesting though is so dropping out of school propelled you to get into boxing, which had a positive benefit. Obviously boxing and then moving out to LA leads you to having a poor relationship with alcohol. But then that poor relationship with alcohol propels you into another chapter of your life, which is joining the army.
How did that phase of your life with joining the army impact you and especially with your relationship with alcohol?
Ed Latimore (22:52.665)
Well, that was the first time I was able to well both first the first time in my adult life were like There was no alcohol around You go through basic training and alcohol in a basic training then you go to a IT no alcohol and a IT So first first time in a long time. I'm completely sober And then and then I'm like at a IT especially making
social connections and friends without alcohol. And that changes my identity, which is awesome because I get to see and become someone completely different. Not completely different, but I get to see people are like, okay, we're going to hang out and kick it with him without booze and I can build an identity without it. And it's really kind of cool that way.
because one of the things that terrifies people getting sober is they're like, am I going to do for a social life? People don't realize how important identity is, like how much of a difference that makes. And if you don't have the identity, or rather if your identity is wrapped up in something, you're going to be reluctant to give it up and it will make your life way more difficult.
then it needs to be like way more difficult. So that is what ended up happening to me. I ended up, you know, getting rid of, seeing what happened, seeing what it could be without the booze. And it made getting sober easier.
Tim Doyle (24:40.11)
2013 is a big year for you. So like we were just talking about, you joined the army at the start of 2013 and then you bookend that with getting sober in December. And for the first 15 months of your sobriety, said you didn't go out at all at night. How do you think that kind of chosen solitude compared to the loneliness you were feeling in LA?
Ed Latimore (25:08.151)
Well, wasn't it was a different It wasn't loneliness is the thing I didn't go out at night But I was intentional about meeting people during the day. I Also had my girlfriend to know the wife And also I had like like us a life like because in LA it was just boxing
home after the army was, I was boxing, but it was also my military career. It was also school, it was also work, it was also the girlfriend, it was also people who met me during the day. It was a lot. wasn't, rather it was a lot of social interaction. It wasn't just me hanging out in a cave by myself going to the gym like it was in LA.
Tim Doyle (26:04.534)
It feels like boxing for you was just a prequel for your life, like just a catalyst for showing you, hey, I can do something with my life and I can actually be someone like you boxed, but you weren't just a boxer and you didn't allow your entire identity to be wrapped up in it. Do you see it the same way?
Ed Latimore (26:26.105)
Yeah, yeah, you know a lot of guys have a problem leaving any sport their identity becomes that sport they are their identity really becomes whatever they pour themselves into And the thing about pouring and that's not a bad thing by the way The thing with sports is that eventually there's a time when you got to give it you have to give it up And this what do you do them? For me, you know boxing wasn't
Boxing helped me realize I could build an identity, because you have to build it. You don't discover it, you build it. And I had never built anything or committed to anything before then. But finally I was.
Tim Doyle (27:13.262)
So you really develop yourself from a physical standpoint with the boxing, but then this leads you into really developing yourself intellectually, which is where a lot of your work continues to be within this world now of writing. You start writing on social media, on Twitter, and now you have been publishing books. Before getting into the writing side of things, I want to talk about
the reading side of things. Your favorite book is A Course in Miracles. How did that help you develop your spirituality and understanding, like you say, of forgiveness?
Ed Latimore (27:47.587)
Yes.
Ed Latimore (27:54.362)
Well, that's the whole kind of, so when people don't know, like, you know, the Course in Miracles is a, it's the best way to describe it. I'll just tell you what the person says it is. Person says, I can't remember her name, says that it's Jesus talking to her and she's just writing it down. And what it is is a recipe, you know,
kind of define love and forgiveness. And it goes about explaining that. And it's a thick book. It is not a casual read whatsoever. I wouldn't even say it's a light read either. Some books are long but easy to get through. Others are short but holy heck, you're looking up every other word and thinking about each concept each time. think it falls somewhere on the upper end. But being introduced to idea of forgiveness really
In that and that mad in that concept from that book That it really helped me out like that helped me make a big difference in a big change in my life, so Really helped me with my relationship with my mom to help me to like See that you know she just did the best she could with what she knew and if I was in her position I would have likely done the same
because I would, exactly in her position, not like with, without, not with what I knew or how I saw the world, but seeing it from her perspective and to understand that that any transgression isn't intentional, it just is what it is.
Tim Doyle (29:39.554)
And you feel like you had a greater appreciation for that while you were actively reading the book or was that more of a slow reflective process after reading the book?
Ed Latimore (29:51.231)
I mean it's both you read it and you you Have the immediate impact and then you the odd to stay with you didn't reread it and all that You know a book a good book, you know, you reread and it stays with you. It doesn't have an immediate
Tim Doyle (30:11.31)
So getting into the writing side of things now, how do you think your writing and career creative process have evolved over the course of your life?
Ed Latimore (30:21.336)
Well, I still use writing to organize my thoughts. It's just the technicals continue to help it improve. It's, It's like everything. You practice and you keep getting better.
Tim Doyle (30:39.096)
What I like is it seems like for you, writing allowed you to go from addictive to obsess obsessive. And what I mean by that is I see addiction as being very consumption based and obsessive is creation based. So you went from somebody who was an alcoholic like you didn't change who you were as a port as a person. Like I've heard you talk about how moderation
just like doesn't exist for you. Like for you, you're like all in when it comes to stuff that like you're really passionate about and really connects with you. So it's like, okay, Ed Lattimore didn't change as a person. We're just going to change the input that we're using. rather than alcohol, it's going to be writing.
Ed Latimore (31:27.086)
Yeah, you know, or training or Yeah, you you have to You have to find something you know It makes such a big difference when you have a constructive outlet to be obsessed slash addicted to and and when you look at the behaviors
Which is all we really have to go on when you look at the behavior. It doesn't matter whether you call it addictive or consumptive. It's all the same. So in other words, it's amoral. It's neither good nor bad. You have to figure out which one it
Not which one it'll be but what you know what you'll do with it by the way if you if you're wired in that way where you're gonna have to deal with addiction then you you better find something good You better find something solid. if you don't then You're gonna something is gonna fill that gap
Tim Doyle (32:44.652)
Yeah, it's, I think it gets into this framework of it's important to find something where you're releasing something from yourself rather than always taking in and always consuming your, your newest book was just released. So huge congrats on that. Hard lessons from the hurt business. You've been writing for a while now, but this is big from the standpoint that it's your first book with a publisher.
Ed Latimore (32:57.57)
Yeah.
Tim Doyle (33:14.252)
How has that experience differed from self-publishing?
Ed Latimore (33:17.689)
Man that's a whole Well for starters, they pay you up front, which is nice It's really nice because a book takes a lot of time and energy What people don't understand about books is that what some people people will have done them and give this 100 % You don't make money on books That is clear. So if you have the opportunity to do so you should do it
Tim Doyle (33:24.334)
Yeah
Ed Latimore (33:47.226)
The book sets you up for a lot of other opportunities that will make you money, but only if it's a good book. So, by working with a house definitely forced me to create a good book. I'm very proud of what I created and hearing the feedback and the reviews that are starting to trickle in. I'm just happy. I'm happy with how it turned out. It made me a better writer because there were different odds on it, cleaning things up, picking things out.
So that ended up working out great.
Tim Doyle (34:20.216)
When it came to self publishing, did it always feel like I'm at this by myself versus like publishing? I've got a team behind me. Like, did it feel like you had more pressure on you at times? Like getting into, I guess, the EQ, psyche side of things when writing. How did that differ?
Ed Latimore (34:36.505)
Ed Latimore (34:40.983)
Well, yeah, I mean they call it self publishing for a reason It's is you now you can go hire a team, but you're hiring a team when When you have a house They are in effect hiring you And it's reflected in the fact that they pay you and then they take a pretty significant chunk on the back end like for every copy sold I think I'll only earn like two dollars They're paying you to write the book
They're investing with this like venture capital and self publishing your your own Right now because they're paying you yet. There's there are deadlines. There are standards to be met there is a different kind of pressure but The the the underlying mechanism is still the same you still got to write a great book you stop the right the best thing you can produce
Tim Doyle (35:37.966)
This is a nonfiction book, but you've said that writing a fiction novel has always been your dream. Do feel like you want to use your life and your experiences to inspire a fiction novel? Or do you feel like fiction writing is more so of a way for you to detach and separate from your life and create almost like a new world?
Ed Latimore (36:00.539)
I've been of a false dichotomy. I just want to tell stories that I find interesting. And what I find interesting, obviously, is going to be influenced by what I've experienced. But it will also serve as the basis because that's what I know in my life. Whatever genre I port those experiences into,
The underpinning of a story is still the connection aspect to human storytelling. We're looking at people. Like good science fiction, for example, if I was to write science fiction. Good science fiction is just a story about people in a universe where the science makes a difference in what's possible. Horror, stories about people, but there's a ghost or something in the background or a monster. Literary fiction, well, we're just going to talk about the stories with
And it'll be done so in a way that will only appeal to the high brows of society Come do you wrote? Why do you think romance is the highest selling genre by a fairly significant margin? Because that is like in the title that is about people And about relationships
Tim Doyle (37:24.43)
So you've clearly developed your voice through writing and you said you were just originally very focused on writing in that medium rather than speaking and literally using your voice. And you've talked about and you've written about how when you were growing up, you actually learned how to shut up and kind of just fit in and not literally use your voice. But that's something that
you've tried to develop more and get better at in your adult life and you've literally done physical training to develop your voice. How has that played a role within your adult life where, okay, I'm going to be a writer and I'm going to develop my voice that way, but now let me further go down this path and develop my literal voice.
Ed Latimore (38:23.832)
I'm not sure that's an interesting question. It's just...
Ed Latimore (38:34.106)
You know, as you live, you end up with a different way to express things than somebody else, even if they went through the same things. So your voice ends up being your kind of output from your unique output from your inputs, because your inputs, even if they're identical to someone else,
You know, you got a different way of seeing the world because of what you experienced and went through. know, two people can see the same thing and come up with two completely different interpretations. And so of it and two different takeaways or whatever. And so, so all, all I do is just try to live and move and work with stuff and that'll end up being great.
Tim Doyle (39:26.018)
You've gone through a lot of shifts throughout your life like we've talked about. How do you think fatherhood has changed you the most?
Ed Latimore (39:33.434)
You know, it's just put something in the background for me to think about all the time That's what you're doing. You have this thing in the back of your mind all the time And you also have to you know model good behavior or ideal behavior You have to model what you what you want your children to become because they don't become what you tell them to become it doesn't work that way And my mom used to say that all the time, you know do what I say not as I do You don't understand
It doesn't work that way. Your children become who you are. So if you want any hope of your children being good people, you got to become a better person. You have to push yourself to something higher. Which is what I try to do. know, one of the great things about having children older is that you have gone through a lot and you've learned a lot and you figure things out. But when you don't have that, when you're younger,
I'm not even convinced the trade-off. I I'm a great shape. People say, you don't have the energy. I just fought a heavyweight fighter at age 40, man. I don't know what you're talking about. Again, that's something that you're responsible for. what you can't do anything about is how long it takes your brain to develop. Right? So the more I think about it, having a kid,
Being a father, it just makes me just more aware of how I behave in the world. And mistakes are hard for everything. You can't, you know, for everything.
Tim Doyle (41:08.43)
There's the classic saying, tough times create tough people. today's day and age, for you and for people in general, how do you envision instilling toughness in your son without necessarily needing tough times to do that?
Ed Latimore (41:26.371)
Well, you have to manufacture them. have to, you know, but you don't have to manufacture tough. You know, first, I actually think, you know, that's a bit of survivor's bias. We only see the people who make it and we go, it was tough. made it. We don't look at all the people who did. And they usually outnumbers the survivors by a significant amount. That's why the survivor's bias. I think people need to
to face difficulty when it needs to be gradual. First it starts with just letting him figure out how something works or letting him fall off or something a little bit. Not too dangerous, but let the risk match the danger he can absorb. And then it steps up to him learning how to talk to people and greet strangers and things like that, and then working hard on stuff.
You can manufacture, you know, discipline.
Which is what we're trying to discipline and impose control. You can manufacture it. don't need your surroundings to kill you if it doesn't. Because it's going to kill a lot of people. And the lucky few who stick around, you're going to think, oh, these are the ones who made it. Not so much. I don't believe that. If for no other reason than if someone were to look at my life and go, OK, this is how you get where you're to go. No. No, I am the lucky one.
I was writing my book and I looked up, I was looking something up and I saw how many of my former classmates, not from high school, high school is a different story, but guys I grew up with in the neighborhood. And classmates from middle and elementary school, how many of them are like serving real time in prison, like not just a little bit of time, are dead? Survivors bias, man. You gotta avoid that and go instead. What really works to to build.
Ed Latimore (43:25.581)
people up and I think is It's it's it's the family yeah, you know, I think my wife and I do a good job with that and You know what we model yeah, and then being intentional about it. You got to be intentional when you raise a kid you can't just kind of Do the minimum which is what I think a lot of it's certainly a lot of people from my community do you know?
It's badge of honor if your kid don't go to jail or if a kid early and I'm like, it's like the bare minimum. Like you may as well say, well, you survived and you like you didn't die. And I'm like, okay, great.
Tim Doyle (44:11.63)
It seems like you had to unlearn or reconfigure a lot of things from your child childhood to become who you are today or you needed to reflect back and heal certain parts of you. Like you said, just having greater appreciation for your mom and the way that she raised you and just appreciate it, appreciating that she did the best that she could. Do you think there's anything
within your childhood that really served you and your best interest that you've always been able to tap into throughout the course of your life.
Ed Latimore (44:49.434)
you know, maybe standing up for myself. That's for sure. Standing up for myself. Problem is you become reactive. I know sometimes I tend to be a little reactive, but I temper that with other traits that I developed outside of the environment. But definitely reactiveness or standing up for myself. And I also learned to detach myself pretty well, which like, again, you can take it too far, but if you temper that,
It keeps people from being able to take advantage of you. Very hard to take advantage of emotionally. If not impossible, because if I feel it, I just snip and go, okay, what are we doing here? And I won't let it happen.
Tim Doyle (45:38.05)
another unique component to you that just further shows the three dimensionality of who you are as a person is your love of chess and being a really good chess player. And I like the way you describe your understanding of chess, which is you can't look into the future. You can only survey the current landscape with that in mind. What does that survey of your life look like right now?
Ed Latimore (46:07.662)
I just just always building. You know, I don't feel like I'm anything anywhere close to making it. got to I still have my challenges and my issues, but I'm also always trying to solve them, always trying to be proactive, always trying to put myself in a position to to make the most out of things and to figure things out. You do that. You're going to end up in a pretty good spot.
Tim Doyle (46:33.134)
Do feel like you always feel like you're nowhere close to who you want to be?
Ed Latimore (46:38.746)
Yeah, for sure. You know, you only get what? If you're lucky, you know, 70 good years, maybe 80. There's so many things to learn and do and so many imperfections in us. It's a constant, constant development. Life is constant development.
Tim Doyle (47:01.324)
And do you feel like for you it's continuing going down the path with writing or do you see yourself wanting to explore different avenues as well?
Ed Latimore (47:11.798)
Well right now writing is what I'm interested in and Teaching you know stuff boxing a lot of times but but who knows where the future goes, you know I'm only only 40 I've got I've got a few good years. Well a few few good decades left of my mind And we'll see where that goes
Tim Doyle (47:34.4)
Ed, it's been awesome to talk with you. Where can people go to connect with you buy your book, anything else you'd want to plug?
Ed Latimore (47:42.01)
I'm at Latimore everywhere. Just add Latimore on Twitter, Instagram, my website is at latimore.com and My book hard lessons from my her business Boxing and the art of life if you can't remember that just at Latimore on I'm on Amazon and it's the newest book. So yeah, that's where you can connect and find me
Tim Doyle (48:06.816)
Awesome Ed, great talking with you today.
Ed Latimore (48:08.826)
Hey, thanks man.
